Saving You
by Aiyoku Saotome
Summary: Harry is horrified by what he did to Malfoy in the bathroom, so he runs for help. He visits the infirmary in the middle of the night and finds out something about Malfoy that shocks him. His hero complex kicks in, but can he save Draco? And can he convince Draco to join the Order and help them win the war? Warning: Self harm, different HBP ending, and some of DH. Good Lucius.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Just my idea for this story.

I used to _hate_ Harry/Draco as a ship, but for some odd reason I don't have an answer for, something flipped a switch in me and I now can't get enough of it. So, I've decided to write my own. I hope it's alright, and I hope you like it.

**Edit: THIS STORY HAS BEEN REVISED!  
><strong>- for those of you who have read it already. There is even a **NEW CHAPTER** fit in between 3 and what was 4 and a whole new yummy scene in chapter 10 :P

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><p>"<em>Sectumsempra<em>!"

Draco let out a scream of agony and fell to the wet tile floor of the bathroom. He felt as if there were sharp knives stabbing him all over his body, slicing at him without mercy. He gasped for breath; the pain was so horrible.

Harry ran past the stalls into the larger part of the bathroom and horror grew on his face when he realized what he had done.

"Oh my god!" He ran up to the blonde and knelt beside him. "I-I'm so sorry! I didn't know what that spell did!" He cast a minor healing spell on Draco, which was all he knew, but it didn't do the taller boy much good.

"F-fuck off… Potter!" he grunted out between gasps of pain, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He tried to sit up but failed.

"No, you need help. I'm not gonna leave you here and not get you help."

"Snape," Malfoy gasped as another wave of pain coursed through him. "I need Snape." He was starting to get dizzy from blood loss and lack of oxygen because he couldn't breathe properly, so he wasn't about to argue with the golden boy. He knew he needed help and fast. Harry wasted no time. He ran out of the bathroom and all the way to the DADA classroom as fast as he could.

"PROFESSOR!" he yelled as he burst through the door.

Snape jumped and knocked over an inkwell. "What in _Merlin's_ name – Potter?"

"Malfoy – boy's bathroom – second floor – he's really hurt – bleeding everywhere! It's… it's my fault! But I didn't mean to!"

Snape jumped up from his desk, the spilled ink forgotton, and ran out of the room, grabbing Harry on the way. "What spell did you use?!"

"I…"

"_POTTER!_"

"_Sectumsempra_…" Snape stopped running and whirled around – he was furious. "I didn't mean – I didn't know what it did! I swear!"

"AND SO YOU USED IT, ANYWAY?!"

"I know! I was stupid but PLEASE we have to hurry he's dying!" Harry rushed, close to tears.

When they arrived, his face went almost as white as Draco's skin. The blonde's breathing was shallow now, and he was lying in a pool of his own blood. Snape hovered over him protectively and waved his wand over the gashes on Draco's body, muttering the countercurse.

"Sev…?"

"Don't talk, Draco. I'll heal you as much as I can, then take you to Madam Pomfrey."

Severus picked Draco up and brought him to the hospital wing, snapping something at Harry about dealing with him later. However, Harry slipped his invisibility cloak on and followed. When he got to the wing, he opened the door a crack to listen.

"He tried to heal me."

"Who?"

"Potter." Draco's voice was soft and tired; the ordeal plus the potions Madam Pomfrey administered were taking their toll on him.

"And? That doesn't justify what he did to you."

"It doesn't… but he still did it. He could've left me there to die. But he went to find you even though he hates you, and me."

"Go to sleep, Draco. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

As Snape stood to leave, Harry flattened himself against the wall; he did not want his teacher to find out that he had been listening.

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><p>Harry had gone through the next day with an immense feeling of guilt gripping his insides. He felt absolutely horrible. Snape had given him detention every Friday for the rest of the semester, but it still didn't seem fair; he almost <em>killed<em> Malfoy. Snape didn't need to seek him out for the book he now knew Harry possessed, for Harry had practically thrown it at the professor's desk after his defense against the dark arts class.

To say Severus was surprised would be an understatement. He was going to confront Potter about the book, but when the boy handed it in, he had given it a contemptuous look, guilt flashed across his face, and then he left after saying that Snape should destroy that book. Inside were the notes of a genius, but also of someone who held an immense amount of anger. That it shouldn't be in the hands of anyone but the owner. Snape was quite impressed with him, though he would never admit it.

That night, after everyone had gone to bed, Harry snuck out of his room with his invisibility cloak. He crept out of Gryffindor Tower and all the way to the hospital wing.

"_Alohamora_." The door unlocked easily and Harry slipped inside. He saw Malfoy sleeping on one of the many beds and thought that he looked peaceful. He was actually quite handsome when he wasn't sneering. Harry's eyes widened in absolute shock. Where did THAT come from? Malfoy wasn't handsome! He was a dirty, sneaky git who… he stopped his thoughts before they got out of hand and obstructed what he wanted to do that night. His guilt was clouding his mind; Malfoy wasn't handsome. No.

"Malfoy," Harry said. "Hey, Malfoy!" The blonde stirred and Harry noticed something on his left wrist. He leaned closer and his eyes widened; what he saw made his heart lurch in a mixture of shock, fear, and sorrow. Draco's sleeve was pushed up around the middle of his lower arm and there were scars and cuts marring his skin.

Draco opened his eyes groggily to see Harry Potter standing by his bead. He flinched; this made Harry feel even more terrible. "What the fuck do you want, Potter?" He must have noticed that his arm was showing, for he pulled it toward his body, the sleeve falling back to his wrist. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Well I couldn't exactly visit in the middle of the day, could I? Here." Harry handed something to Draco. "It's chocolate. I know it's stupid… but I thought it would… help you a bit, I dunno."

"Thank… you…" Draco blinked at Harry's kindness. He was surprised, and also amused by Harry's embarrassment.

"Listen, uh… I really am sorry…"

"You don't have to repeat yourself over and over again. I know."

Harry flushed. "Right, well… night."

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><p>Harry couldn't stop thinking about Malfoy. Why did he cut? It disturbed him greatly. What could possibly be so wrong with his life that would make him do that to himself? Something wasn't adding up. He glanced over at where the Slytherins sit in DADA; he still wasn't back from the hospital wing. It has been two days, already. Harry sighed. How was it that he was always involved in situations like this?<p>

Harry did not visit Draco that night. He thought it would be weird for him to go more than once, so instead, he stayed up until three a.m. thinking.

However, that morning, his mind was satisfied. Draco Malfoy was sitting in potions at the back of the room next to Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson. Slughorn chuckled happily when the instructions appeared on the board, and the students went to work. After quite some time, Slughorn started getting very annoyed with Ron and Hermione, who were pestering Harry about why he was in a weird mood lately and such.

"Miss Granger! Mr. Weasley! That is enough out of you! Harry, m'boy, go sit in the empty spot with Mr. Malfoy, Ms. Parkinson, and Mr. Zabini, if you will, please, as these two cannot keep their concentration on their work."

Harry shot Hermione and Ron an annoyed look, then went to Malfoy's table. Harry did _not_ want to sit with him. He still felt very badly about what happened, and he didn't want their eyes to meet. They worked together without protest, which was unusual and the rest of the class thought so too, but the two looked gloomy enough for them, so they made no comments about it.

At one point, Draco and Harry went to grab the same ingredient at the same time and their hands brushed. While Draco just looked surprised, Harry flushed and mumbled an apology, taking his hand away. He would just use it after Malfoy. Draco thought this interesting, and couldn't figure out why Harry let him have the ingredient first, or why he had blushed. '_Probably just from embarrassment, still… or because he hates touching me._' That last thought surprised Draco in that it actually made him a little hurt. Why would he feel hurt over Potter not wanting to touch him? He shrugged it off and continued to work.

"No, stir counterclockwise once then clockwise twice, not the other way around," Draco whispered ten minutes later. Harry sent an incredulous stare at him. "What?" he sniffed arrogantly.

Harry shook his head. "Nothing. Thanks." He glanced over at the taller boy's left wrist, his heart reaching out to the blonde, knowing what was under his sleeve. And then, before he could stop it, a thought shot through his head; of how such a handsome boy in a well-known, well-to-do family could be so depressed, and how much he wanted to help him.

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><p>I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I have more written, I just have to type and edit it. :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Just this particular plot.

Thank you all so much for the reviews! :D If you guys have any ideas, I'm always up for hearing them out. I hope you enjoy!

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><p>Draco jumped when he saw the time. He had been sitting at lunch doing a bit of extra work and he only had five minutes to pack up and get to arithmancy. He started thinking about when he touched Potter's hand yesterday, and why the other boy flushed. He thought it was cute, but then he shook his head to clear it. Cute? Really? That's what his mind came up with? He needed to stop hanging around Theo. He shot out of the Great Hall like a bullet and dove for the corner. When he rounded the corner, he ran into someone and sent them both sprawling to the floor with Draco on top.<p>

He pushed himself up. "Ow! Watch where you're… Potter?"

He finally saw who it was that he crashed into. The position of their bodies, that they were pressed against each other, and how close Draco's face was to Harry's caused them both to heat up in embarrassment. Then they realized that they were both aroused.

Draco sprang up at once, Helping Harry up with an offered hand. They were both blushing furiously. "I, uh… sorry," Draco said before shooting off to class. '_What the FUCK was that?!'_ he thought. He stood outside the classroom for a minute to calm himself down, then braced himself for house points to be taken away due to his lateness.

Meanwhile, Harry was still in shock. He had just gotten hard and very hot over Malfoy. Draco Malfoy! _A guy_. Was he gay? No… he definitely had feelings for Cho and Ginny last year, even though the thing with Cho ended badly and what he felt for Ginny was fleeting. She was his best friend and sister, now. It seemed for a moment that Malfoy wanted to kiss him. He had been just as flustered as Harry was… and aroused, too.

This was bothering Harry something fierce. He had found Malfoy _attractive_. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't he go on with his life and kill Voldemort, marry Ginny, and have a couple of kids? That would have been so much easier. But life has never been easy on Harry. He was very glad that Rita Skeeter was forever banned from Hogwarts – if she wasn't, the entire wizarding world would know their 'chosen one' was a pouf before morning. She would have conveniently left out that he has had relationships with girls. … A girl. Ginny didn't count. He walked outside for his free period; he needed to clear his head.

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><p>"Harry, are you <em>sure<em> you're alright?"

"YES, Hermione!"

She huffed, but didn't look convinced.

"Leave the bloke alone, Mione," Ron said, shoveling dinner into his mouth.

Truthfully, Harry was not alright. Every time he snuck a glance at the blonde Slytherin, his thoughts would go back to the moment in the hallway and his face went hot, his body tingled, and his stomach lit on fire. What the hell was happening to him? Maybe he should talk to Hermione about it… she'd know what to do. Then again, he didn't want her to think he was a freak. In the end, he decided not to tell her.

In the meantime, Ginny was trying to set him up with girls. "How about Parvati? She's very pretty."

"No."

"Okay, um, Luna?" Harry gave her a strange look that made Ginny laugh. "Okay, no."

Hermione and Ron said their goodbyes as they went off to class, Hermione reminding Harry that he'd be late if he didn't leave with them. He told her to go on ahead; he'd be in DADA soon.

"What about Romilda Vane? She fancies you, you know."

"No, Ginny. I'm not interested in them."

Ginny huffed. "Well go out with Malfoy, then!" Harry's voice caught in his throat and his face flushed again, but thankfully, Ginny thought it was from rage. "Oh for goodness sakes, Harry, I was only joking. Anyway, time for class. See you at practice later! Ta-ta!"

Harry shook his head at the girl who was one of his best friends. He no longer felt anything for Ginny but friendship and loyalty. She was made his co-captain because she was organized, responsible, and very loyal to him. Their friendship was strong, which made for a good duo to run a quidditch team.

On his way to defense, Harry wasn't paying attention and nearly bumped into Malfoy again, who was walking towards him. They grabbed each other to steady themselves.

"Potter, we _must_ stop meeting like this," Draco said, smirking. Harry smiled awkwardly, then let go of the blonde. "You have one minute, by the way."

"If we only have one minute, why are you going in the opposite direction?"

"Not that it's your business, but Snape sent me to get something for him." Draco walked swiftly past Harry and down the rest of the corridor.

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><p>"Alright, let's practice the formations Ginny and I showed you. Let's get out there."<p>

Harry's team cheered and held up their brooms, then followed him outside to the pitch. As this was right after dinner and they all had their brooms at the table in the Great Hall, Draco knew they were having quidditch practice so he decided to follow and watch. Pansy and Blaise joined him, for which he was grateful. It would look weird if he went alone.

He sat on the stands and leaned back against them in a cocky, arrogant pose to keep up appearances. He sneered when Weasley – Ron – gave him a glare.

"What's _he_ doing here?"

"He's just watching, Ron. Keep your concentration on the quaffle." Harry found it odd that he didn't care as much as he should have about Malfoy sitting in the stands with his friends.

"Yeah…" the redhead grumbled. "Until he starts singing 'Weasley is our King.'"

"So sing the Gryffindor version in your head, then. You can't let him get to you. Besides, you should feel honored that the Slytherins pay enough attention to you to write a song about you." He smiled when Ron smirked, and turned to the rest of the team. "Alright, positions everyone! I'm letting out the bludgers and the snitch!" Not too long after, Harry took the quaffle and threw it to Ginny, who zoomed off to try and score on her brother.

Draco's heart raced along with Harry and found himself silently egging Harry on to catch the snitch. When he realized this, he scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. "This is ridiculous. It isn't fun when we're not belting 'Weasley is our King.' Let's go."

"Oh come on, Draco," said Blaise. "This is a great opportunity to watch and learn from them."

Draco grumbled.

"Sourpuss," Pansy muttered. Draco glared at her. "Well, you are! What's got your knickers in a bunch? You've been mighty grouchy, today."

"Probably finally found out he's gay," Blaise snorted, then laughed outright on the scandalous look on his best mate's face. "You should see your expression!"

"What the HELL do you mean, finally found out?! I'm as straight as they come!"

"Right, with the OCD and fussiness about your hair and clothes, you're surely the straightest there is," Pansy said, giggling. However, when she saw the look on her friend's face, her smile fell. She put a hand on Draco's shoulder. "Draco, we're only joking," she said gently. "I'm sorry if we offended you."

Draco was trembling with rage and embarrassment. He was so ashamed of the fact that his friends might actually be right.

"Yeah, man, sorry," Blaise added. "Are you… alright?"

"Fine."

"How about we go to the common room?" Pansy suggested shakily. She rarely saw her friend that angry and defensive. Defensive… could there possibly be something he was trying to hide? She glanced over at Draco, who shrugged.

"Sure."

She shared a concerned look with Blaise, who looked just as confused and worried as she was, but they let it go. They walked ahead of Draco, who lagged behind to catch one last look at Potter. When he felt his stomach flutter at the black tousled hair and the way he gripped his broom, Draco shut his eyes for a moment, turned back around, and followed Blaise and Pansy to the Slytherin common room.

He, however, couldn't think so he told them he'd go for a walk to clear his head. They nodded in understanding and asked him nothing. They were great friends, really. Knew when to not say anything.

_'Fuck.'_

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><p>Harry kept stealing glances at Draco, who was not hard to spot because of his platinum blonde head. Once in a while, he caught Draco staring at him and felt something bubble inside him. Was it happiness, or the need to show off? He couldn't tell. Then he felt disgusted at himself. He didn't care if other people were gay. Hell he even knew a few, guys and girls. Theodore Nott from Slytherin was very openly gay. But he didn't want to be. He knew he was attracted to girls, too, but this whole Malfoy thing was throwing him for a loop. If he was straight, he wouldn't have gotten hard when Malfoy fell on top of him and he wouldn't get hot and bothered every time Malfoy sent a glance his way. He shook his head and focused on practice. They still had two more hours of rigorous exercises.<p>

After quidditch practice, he made his way up to his dorm and promptly fell asleep. During the next few days, he and Draco had been glancing at each other and only once or twice caught each other. Harry was forced to work with Draco once more when Ron was having another ADD moment and couldn't concentrate.

Draco and Harry barely looked at each other during that class and the one time they did, they looked right back down at their ingredients again, Harry's face red and both of their hearts racing. Both boys were wondering about this odd change, but Draco had more important matters to attend to – such as the vanishing cabinet.

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><p>I know it was still kind of short, but the next scene I want to add would have made this chapter too cluttered, and it would have made the story seem to go way too fast. Thank you for reading!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. Just my plot.

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><p>"What about Helen Deegan? You know, that girl in Hufflepuff?"<p>

"Ginny!"

"Sorry! For goodness sakes, I'm just trying to help you." They were sitting in the common room by the fire and were talking about quidditch when Ginny steered the conversation back to setting him up.

"But I don't want you to. I appreciate it, Gin, I do, but I don't want to be set up."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Harry, you're lonely. Everyone can see that. I'm just trying to help. Why are you turning down every girl I mention? I must have given you the names of over half the girls in school!"

"Because I don't want girls!" he blurted out.

It took them both a moment to realize what Harry had just said. Harry looked scared out of his mind. He hadn't meant for that to slip.

"Oh… _ohhhhhhh_."

"Nono! That wasn't – you weren't supposed to –"

"Harry."

"I wasn't – that's not true, Ginny, I like girls – I wasn't supposed to say that –"

"HARRY!"

"WHAT?!"

Ginny had slapped her right hand over Harry's mouth to be sure he wouldn't say anything else. "I - don't - care." She took her hand back.

"But I… what?"

"I don't care," she repeated.

"You don't?

"No! Why would I? So you like guys… no _wonder_. It makes so much sense, now. Oooh, now I can set you up with… YES!" She squealed as Harry looked at her with an incredulous expression. "What about Colin?" Harry screwed up his face and Ginny giggled. "Okay, that's a no."

"Ginny, I like girls –"

"Oh stop trying to hide it, you already admitted to it."

"_Listen to me_. I like girls, _too_."

"Even if you're bi, you don't have to keep trying to defend yourself. Even if you were fully gay, it wouldn't matter to me." Harry was so incredibly shocked at her reaction that he was silent. "Harry, I don't know how it is in he muggle world but in this world, it's not a sin for people to like others of the same gender. I definitely don't care."

"My feelings for you… were genuine… and Cho…"

"Okay, and? Your feelings for me were confused with feelings of love for a sister/friend and my feelings for you were a young girl's infatuation with a famous guy. Then you became my best friend. We didn't work out, and we weren't supposed to. Neither did you and Cho… well, mostly because Cho is a whiny little cunt, but hey… not all girls are rainbows and ponies and fun…"

"Ginny!"

"What? She is!"

Harry snorted, as he was trying to hold back a laugh. This made Ginny snicker, and before they knew it, the two of them were laughing hysterically. This was what Ron and Hermione walked in on.

"Just _what_ is so funny?" Hermione asked, secretly very glad that her best friend and brother-figure was laughing again.

Both Ginny and Harry stumbled over their words, and burst into fresh laughter. Ron rolled his eyes and grinned. He really wanted Ginny and Harry to become a couple. At least they were friends… and Ron thought that maybe there might still be hope. Maybe.

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><p><em>'What is wrong with me?'<em>

Draco was sitting on his bed after doing a little work in the common room with Blaise and Pansy, waiting a bit before going to the seventh floor. His drapes were closed and he was sitting cross-legged with his back against the headboard. His eyes were staring at his hands but he wasn't seeing them; his mind was focused on Potter, and wondered why he kept thinking about him. Why he didn't feel hatred when he thought about him. Why he got hard when he fell on him. To be honest with himself, he never truly hated him. He did used to feel aggravation whenever he saw him, he used to not like him, and he still feels frustration with him, but now... it's like everything changed. He _wanted_ to see him, _wanted _to be around him, even just to look at him.

What made it worse is that Potter got sheepish when he looked at him, ran into him, and touched his hand, got hard when Draco fell on him... and it both scared and confused him. Potter, gay? Or maybe he was bi; he did date the Weaslette and Chang. He never would have guessed. Then again, he was pretty sure that Potter wasn't into men. He was probably just flustered from feeling uncomfortable around Draco. And he probably got hard because of the position they fell in. Erections happened for no reason sometimes, and they were near impossible to control. Yeah, that was it. He never would have guessed about himself, either. The only thing keeping him from being disgusted with himself was Theo. Theo was gay and he loved life. He had many lovers, even more friends, and a smile on more than he did not.

Draco felt heat in his stomach just from thinking about being that close to Potter. _'Fuck.'_ He didn't want to be gay. That made him weird, different. He feared he would lose his status among the Slytherins. Hell, even among the rest of the school. Being gay wasn't taboo but there were still a lot of people who thought it was weird and/or disgusting. _'They don't have to know.'_ But it would get out, eventually. Secrets always did, here. He sighed heavily. The weight of this new information, or rather, realization, was a bit much. _'I should have known sooner... I've never felt anything for any of the girls I banged. I even had to think of jacking myself off to keep it up. God, I'm a fucking fag.'_

He tried to think about something exciting to distract his mind, and the image that popped into his head was him grinding against Potter.

_'Fuck my life.'_

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><p>On the other side of the castle, Harry was also in his bed, with his drapes also closed, cross-legged and thinking. <em>'It has to be because he's up to something. Mione's right; I'm obsessed with the fact that he's sneaking around at night. Prefect my ass.'<em>

He stared down at the Marauder's Map. Malfoy was in his dorm. He had been disappearing from it on a weekly basis. Harry was baffled; how can you disappear from the map? From Hogwarts? He knew the prefect routes from Ron and Hermione, so he knew that Malfoy didn't always keep to them. He was using his status to do something and Harry wanted, needed, to figure it out.

_'Yeah... obsessed with catching him.' _

After Katy Bell was cursed and sent to St. Mungo's, he just knew it was Malfoy who had given her the necklace. Especially when she came back. He saw how scared Malfoy looked when he saw her; that's why Harry ran after him. But he seemed so harmless the two times they sat together in potions, and when he was crying in the bathroom before he saw Harry and attacked him. So vulnerable. And when he thought of the cuts on Malfoy's arm in the infirmary... he shuddered. Yeah, he could be up to something, but he most definitely didn't want any part in it. Why else would he cut his own arm? Harry had thought that they might have been from a cat or an owl but the lines were too straight, too perfect. His heart fell again. It always did when he thought about this.

He threw on his invisibility cloak, grabbed the map, and left. "_Lumos._"

It was after hours, but Harry had taken to nightly strolls around the castle – with his invisibility cloak, of course. He would take the marauders' map with him and whenever he saw an unfriendly dot near him, he would throw the cloak on and that would be that.

Tonight, at one point, he slacked off on looking at the map because he was lost in thought, and did not see who was down the corridor he was turning into. When he caught sight of the object of his thoughts doing prefect rounds, Harry's heart leapt in his chest and his clothes started to feel too hot.

"Potter, Potter… out and about after hours, are you?"

"I suppose you're going to give a detention or take away points, as you were so oft to do earlier in the year," Harry shot at him.

Draco feigned an affronted look, then examined his nails. "My my, aren't we touchy?"

"You're one to talk. You seem to like touching me, running into me all the time." At this, they both flushed a little.

"You bumped into me outside of Defense," Draco shot back, his body growing hot at remembering how he held the 'Golden Boy' to steady himself. "Or do you only mention situations that suit your argument instead of the whole story? Everyone knows you love stories, especially the ones about you."

"Shut up!" Harry snapped. Draco almost took a step back in shock because of the fury in Harry's words. However, they also made him want to pin Harry against the wall; he found Harry very sexy when riled. "I am _not_ fond of attention! I _hate_ it when they write those horrible, false stories about me in the _Prophet_!" Harry was beyond furious. He thought Malfoy could change, but he was completely wrong.

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Oh _do_ calm down, Potter, I was only kidding. Don't get your panties in a twist." And then he pressed his body against Harry's, pushed him up against the wall, and kissed him. He needed to test the waters somehow.

Harry's eyes flew wide open, and he was sure the blonde was able to feel just how excited he was. Draco Malfoy was _kissing_ him. He closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. When Draco felt Harry kiss him back, his heart soared. He pushed himself harder against Harry's body and heard him let out a soft moan. Draco grinned and pulled back slightly so he could look at Harry.

"I had to test that," he said breathlessly. "I didn't know you were gay."

"I like girls, too," Harry replied with what would have been a defensive tone if he wasn't equally breathless. "Just not as much." This comment, however, caused Draco to push against Harry more in a protective sort of way that screamed 'mine.' Harry closed his eyes and his head went back against the wall, his mouth ajar in ecstasy. His pants were now uncomfortably tight. He left his neck exposed and Draco took advantage of this opportunity. He leaned forward and gently, but with a bit of force, bit the nape of Harry's neck where it met his shoulder, causing the shorter boy to gasp. He lowered his head to look at Draco with heavy eyelids. "This… this is wrong," he said.

Draco kissed him again, grazing and nibbling Harry's bottom lip with his teeth. Harry shuddered. "Still think it's wrong?" Draco asked seductively.

He grazed his knuckles up and down Harry's left side, going dangerously close to Harry's erection. Harry whimpered. "Yes." But he reached up with his right hand to pull the blonde's head towards him and kissed him.

Draco closed his eyes and slipped his tongue into Harry's mouth. It had been long overdue. He shifted his hips so that his erection rubbed against Harry's, eliciting a surprised gasp from him.

Harry, with his eyes hooded and glassy, decided that he should do something since Draco was initiating everything.

Then Harry paused. What if Draco was just doing this to make fun of him? He pushed Draco away, and the taller boy looked surprised – maybe even a little hurt, but Harry decided not to think about that. "Wait, what are you playing at, Malfoy?"

"I'm not playing at anything! What's _your_ problem?"

"We hate each other. We have for years. Why are you all of sudden being nice? What do you want from me? You obviously want something or you wouldn't have changed so suddenly. Is this another scheme to torture me? Isn't your life perfect enough already? Why do you have to always be a thorn in my side? Mocking me and testing my limits!"

Draco sneered. He should have known Potter would be like this. He should have known the 'Golden Boy' would reject him. He was so _angry_.

"How do _you_ know what I want? How do _you_ know what the fuck my life is like? You have _no_ _idea_ about what I've been through, what I'm going through. I'm not trying to fuck up your perfect little life, Potter! I'm trying to make my own better with this, whatever it is, but since you obviously don't give a flying fuck, I'll just leave you alone. But as I go, might I remind you that you nearly _killed_ me last week? Murder, Potter. How does that sound? Murder on Potter's perfect record."

"I didn't mean to do that to you! I ran and got Snape for you! I even _visited_ you, you bastard. But maybe I should've just let you die." Harry was taken aback at the look in Draco Malfoy's eyes. They changed from anger to hurt, betrayal, and sadness in less than a second.

"Yeah, maybe you should have." He sounded so defeated. He turned and walked away but when was about to turn the corner, Harry stopped him.

"Wait! Malfoy – Draco, stop!" He ran up to Draco, who turned to look at Harry, surprised that he had used his first name. "I… I'm sorry, okay, I just… don't trust people easily. And I'm sorry for hurting you, I really am. I…" but Harry didn't know what else to say. Draco continued to stare at him with his eyes full of sadness and pain, Harry didn't know what to say, so he kissed him.

Draco's chest filled with a funny feeling, replacing the overwhelming emotional pain Potter had caused him. Harry gently backed him into the wall and continued to kiss him.

"I'm sorry," Harry repeated.

"Potter, _shut up._" He pressed his lips firmly against the shorter boys' and flipped their positions so that he was the one pressing Harry into the wall, again, which Harry did not mind at all. He, however, remembered that Draco had been doing everything so his hands roamed to the blonde's lower back and held him steady while he pressed his hips harder against Draco's. The blonde went rigid as an electric charge coursed through him and he lost his breath. His eyes nearly rolled back.

"H-holy shit…"

Harry smiled, pleased with himself for being able to get a response like that out of Draco, who seemed to be the more dominant one. Harry was quite shy, so this was very forward of him. Draco liked that, though; he thought that Harry's shyness was endearing, but when he stepped outside of it, it was unbelievably erotic.

Draco nudged Harry's head to the right with his face to expose his neck, then leaned forward. He bit Harry harder than before, but not enough to cause pain. Harry gasped and gripped Draco's shoulders. As wonderful as it felt to do things to him, the noises Harry made and the reactions he had to Draco's ministrations are what sent the blonde over the edge. He pressed their hips together again and began a slow rhythm. They held each other tightly as Harry began moving with Draco. Their rhythm grew steadily faster, their grips on each other stronger, and their breathing harder until Draco let out a muffled cry into Harry's shoulder. Harry followed not long after.

As their heavy breathing slowed and their heart rates calmed, Draco turned his head and placed a kiss on Harry's neck, then his lips, and let their foreheads rest on each other's.

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><p>Please review and tell me what you thought. :)<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, yaddayaddayadda…**

**I decided to post the next chapter early just because. I am hoping to post one chapter per week while working on the next few chapters. Once I reach where I am at in the story, I am hoping for at least 2 chapters per month. I have other stories to update and I have a crazy life right now, especially after unfairly losing my job. Hang in there! And thanks for sticking with me :)**

**I hope you enjoy this! It's a bit darker than the other three, but it has to be. Please review! I am a review whore, I will readily admit that XD**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Draco patted the mound of dirt and stood. His chest constricted and it was hard for him to breathe. He said a silent prayer and headed back up to the castle; he was by the Forbidden Forest, behind a hill so no one could see him.<p>

He felt wretched; that poor little bird did not deserve to die. He vowed that he wouldn't use the second one. Why did he even have to fix the vanishing cabinet? What if he… didn't? He shook his head. No, that was stupid. He had to. He had nowhere to go if he defied the Dark Lord. Maybe the Weasley mother would adopt him. He then snorted at the thought.

He sighed; his heart felt heavier than it ever had before. He accidentally cursed Katie Bell, star chaser of Gryffindor, and nearly killed her and now he's trying to fix something that would allow Death Eaters into the castle. He _did_ manage to kill an innocent little bird, and he was going to poison a bottle of alcohol Slughorn had gotten as a gift for Dumbledore; Draco saw it in the potions classroom with the gift tag on it after a lesson.

Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he'd hold off on trying to kill the one man he respected more than anything other than his godfather – the one man who _could_ keep him safe.

When he got back to the dorm, his roommates weren't there but he closed his bed curtains, anyway. He took his Swiss army knife out of his pocket and fiddled with it. He ran his thumb across it, reveling in the feel of the cold steel against his skin. He flipped it open and rolled up his left sleeve, pressing the razor sharp blade against the underside of his arm. In one quick motion, he made a small cut. Beads of blood seeped out of the wound but did not fall. The second cut was deeper and further up his arm.

Whenever he self-harmed, the cuts were always perpendicular to his arm. He didn't know why he did it this way. Perhaps it was so he wouldn't bleed out if he nicked any veins on his wrist; which was why he never cut directly on his wrist. Then again, he didn't mind the thought of dying. At least before he started this thing, whatever it was, with Potter. Harry.

Those first two cuts were for the vanishing cabinet and the bird. As he progressed, the cuts became more violent as he thought about more pressing matters. Dumbledore, his task, what Harry would think of him if he knew, his father… Voldemort. He hissed; that last one was actually quite painful. He looked at it and saw his blood travel down the side of his arm and bead underneath it.

He felt better.

* * *

><p>"Have you seen Malfoy, recently? He's been looking rather… down."<p>

"Why do _you_ care, Mione?"

"Because, _Ron_, it's not like him and even though he's a git, he's still human and unlike you, I have a heart."

"He could just be up to something again."

"If I was up to something, I wouldn't look like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders."

"Maybe his mummy finally died."

"RON! I cannot _believe_ how horrible you're being! How could you say something like that?!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T CARE, HERMIONE! So shut up or leave us alone!"

Hermione got up and stormed out of the common room. Harry thought Ron was unreasonably harsh on her, but most of his thoughts were elsewhere. He was worried; if Hermione saw something off about Draco, he must be really upset. What also bugged Harry was that Hermione noticed, and she wasn't Draco's lover. _He_ was. Well... newly made, at least. He did notice something off, but didn't think much of it. He felt terrible, now.

"'Scuse me," he said. He got up and left the common room to go to the owlery, leaving Ron to his bad mood.

_Meet me on the top of the astronomy tower in ten._

_-H_

He nodded his approval of the message and cooed Hedwig down from her spot. She flew to his shoulder instead of the perch in front of him and nuzzled his face. He chuckled and affectionately pet her head. She jumped off of his shoulder to land on the perch and turned around, sticking out her leg.

"Hedwig, this must not be read. If anyone tries to intercept you, destroy it, alright?" She hooted. He tied the letter to her and she flew off. He then left to go to his destination and waited restlessly for Draco to show up. When he heard footsteps on the metal staircase, his head turned towards it and he instinctively smiled.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," Draco replied. Now that Harry knew what to look for, Draco's unease was painfully obvious. "What did you want?"

"I… wanted to see you."

"Oh."

They stared at each other for a few moments, then Draco turned to look out at the river and mountains surrounding the school.

"Actually, I… noticed you weren't acting… normal." Draco's eyes moved to look at Harry. "Well, Hermione pointed it out, but I did notice, and I got concerned."

"I'm fine."

"That's why this is quipped and awkward, now, right?" Harry took a daring step by saying that. Draco looked uncomfortable and continued to stare out at the landscape. "People in a relationship are supposed to talk to each other. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but at least let me know when you're upset so I can help. We _are_ together… aren't we?" Harry asked timidly.

"What kind of a question is that?" Draco snapped, but realized his mistake. "Of course. I'm the one who established that, after all."

"I'm just confirming… I never got a verbal confirmation."

"Oh. Well, yes. The fact that I haven't fucked you yet means you mean more to me than those harlots I've been with over the years, who think they own me just because they've had a taste."

Harry snorted and rolled his eyes. "Oh, well doesn't that make me feel special."

The corners of Draco's mouth twitched. "It should."

Harry shook his head and smiled. "... Anyway, I wanted to see what was wrong. Your barrier goes up when I get into something personal, and I understand why… I just wish I could get through. I just want to help."

"I know." _'But you can't help.' _After a long minute, he leaned towards Harry and their foreheads touched. They stayed like that for a short while and the Draco gently kissed him. "Thank you."

This was when Blaise Zabini chose to leave. He was happy; his best friend had finally found an outlet. How or why it was in the form of Harry Potter, he'd never know. He followed Draco after he saw him receive a letter from one of the three white owls in the school, and his curiosity peaked. He knew that Draco has been down, and there was no doubt in his mind that it was about the task the Dark Lord gave him over the summer. So when Draco left the room they shared with Theo, Blaise decided to follow.

He knew that Draco cut. He opened the curtains to Draco's bed one day last month and found his distraught friend sitting, curled over himself, his left arm in plain sight. The pocket knife was held loosely in Draco's right hand. Blaise had pried his friend's fingers open and put the knife on the bedside table. He had then cast _scourgify_ on Draco's comforter and arm and held him for what seemed like hours.

It had shocked him to his core to know that his best friend was doing harm to himself. He decided not to tell anyone about it, though. If Draco wanted to kill himself, he would have done it already. Or so, at least he thought... and hoped. Theo found the bloody knife Blaise forgot about the next day, but he didn't ask questions. Blaise loved that about him. They had shared a concerned look and that was that.

He would not talk to Draco about the cutting, but he would eventually ask about Harry. For now, though, he would leave them alone.

* * *

><p>Harry couldn't figure out what on Earth could be so wrong that it made Draco Malfoy so depressed. He remembered the sobs he heard in the bathroom before he cast <em>sectumsempra<em> and inwardly shuddered. He almost killed the boy he had come to care so passionately for, even if it has only been two weeks.

He sat next to Draco and kept him company for the next hour. Even though Draco wasn't showing any signs of it, Harry knew that the blonde was hurting. He hated that his lover was in so much turmoil, and he hated that he didn't know what was causing it. He refused to ask, though; Draco would tell him when he was ready to.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed that. Please let me know what you think!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything except my story line.

I hope you enjoy! And please leave me some reviews. I didn't get any for my last chapter, and that's really disheartening. I'd love to know what you think! However, I did get favorites and followers. Thank you!

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><p>Ron and Hermione weren't talking to each other.<p>

Harry sighed and picked at his food; he was getting tired of this. But at least it was better than their bickering, he supposed. Though… he found Hermione crying by the bottom of a spiral staircase near Gryffindor Tower last night after he came back from seeing Draco. Lavender Brown had kissed Ron in the common room during the celebration of winning the quidditch match against Slytherin earlier that day. She just cried; she did not ask him about how he felt when he saw Ginny with Dean. He fleetingly wondered why, but the thought left as soon as it came. Perhaps she realized that he and Ginny were very close friends and were not relationship material to each other.

"I'm going to the library, Harry," the girl in question said. "You can tell Ron that he can do his essay on his own with no help from me."

"Well you can tell _her_ that I don't need her stupid help."

"Then you can tell _him _that I'd be glad to let him fail his classes!" she said shrilly. Harry had had enough. He slammed his hands down on the lunch table in a fit of anger.

"Can you two shut _up_ for _one_ minute? It is _so annoying_ when you get into these ridiculously unnecessary fights! Hermione, let it go. Don't listen to him. Who you feel sorry for is your business and he has a right to his own opinion." Ron looked smug, but then Harry rounded on him. "And Ron, you had no reason to shout at Hermione. Just because you hate Malfoy so much doesn't mean you can bite her head off for feeling a bit sorry for him. Again, I say everyone has a right to their own opinions."

He promptly stood, grabbed his bag, and left Ron and Hermione gawking at his retreating back.

"Trouble with the lovebirds?"

After he got through the Great Hall doors, Harry turned at the sound of the voice he loved most. "How do you know they like each other?"

"Oh please, it's so obvious. They're the only ones who can't see it."

"Harry! Harry!" Ginny was running up to him excitedly. "I found someone to set you up with – oh. Malfoy. You're not causing Harry grief again, are you?"

"Does it look like I am, Weaslette?" He was a little ruffled; who was she to set _his_ Harry up with someone else? Harry was his and his alone. But of course she didn't know that, he reminded himself.

Ginny huffed at the nickname he had taken to calling her.

"Ginny, please don't…"

She turned her attention back to Harry. "Oh come on! I found out that the person really likes you!"

Draco's jealousy spiked.

"I really don't think it's a good idea…" Harry glanced tentatively at Draco and almost barked with laughter – the normally icy, emotionless Slytherin looked like a peacock with ruffled feathers. But at the same time, his heart swelled with happiness that someone liked him enough to be jealous.

"Find something funny, do you Potter?"

"Not at all," said Harry, trying to cover up a laugh.

Ginny's eyes went back and forth between the two… something was different between them. Draco could almost see the gears turning in her head.

"Anyway, why not?" she asked hesitantly.

"Because I just don't want to be set up. I appreciate it, but I want to… do it on my own."

She pouted and threw her hands up. "Oh alright, fine. I concede defeat. Can't say I didn't try. Why are you still here, Malfoy?"

"I was having a nice little _chat_ with Potter here before you disturbed it with your incessant attempts to find him love."

"He's my best friend. I'm just trying to get him out of his loneliness. And who are you to butt into our business?"

He smirked. "His lover."

Ginny gawked. "WHAT?!"

"WHAT?" Harry shouted and took a few steps back. "Ugh! Gross, Malfoy! Never! EW."

Draco had to hand it to him; Harry was a good actor. He laughed and walked off. "It's so much fun riling you two up." With that, he rounded the corner and was gone.

"What a weirdo," Ginny said. Harry nodded his head. His heart was still pounding. What was Draco _thinking_? Of course he knew he could get away with saying that because Ginny would never believe it, but still…

* * *

><p>A week had gone by. Draco and Harry rarely got to be alone but when they did, it was in the throes of passion. Today was one such day. It was a Monday, and they had potions in two minutes. Everyone in the school was already in class, and they decided to get a little in before they suffered for two hours in the cold dungeon.<p>

Draco and Harry had their arms around each other and were kissing feverishly. Their hips were pressed together and Draco was slowly grinding his against Harry's. Their hearts were hammering; the thrill of being together added to the risk of getting caught was pumping adrenaline through their bodies. They stopped and kissed each other but before they could go any further, they heard a gasp.

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><p>'<em>I'm so laaaaaaaaate!<em>'

Ginny was running as fast as she could; she, Hermione, and Ron were eating lunch and they lost track of time. Ron and Hermione had come to a sort of silent mutual agreement to stop fighting, but they still weren't happy with each other. Ginny, being the faster one, was ahead of them.

She had muggle studies, which was on the first floor, while Ron and Hermione had potions. The muggle studies classroom was down the same corridor as the stairs to the dungeons, so they were all running in the same direction. Ginny was picking up speed but when she rounded the corner to the corridor, she stopped dead in her tracks. There were Harry and Draco kissing quite passionately in what was supposed be a deserted hallway, as everyone had already gone to class. Or so they thought.

At the sound of her gasp, the two broke apart and stared at her in shock. Luckily, their robes covered their erections, so they were saved from that embarrassment. None of them knew what to say, but Ginny's quick thinking brought her out of her shock, and she remembered that Ron and Hermione weren't far behind her. She looked behind her, then back at them and could now hear running footsteps, so she flipped out her wand and pointed it at Draco.

"Get away from Harry, Malfoy!" she said in what they thought was an unnecessarily loud voice. Then she hissed at Draco, "_Get out your wand! Point it at me!"_

Being in Slytherin, Draco also had a quick mind, and caught on. He pointed his wand at Ginny as Harry fumbled for his. "Why Potter, it looks like you got yourself a meddling little girlfriend," he said in a snide tone with a sneer on his face just in time for Ron and Hermione to round the corner. "How quaint."

"She's not my girlfriend, Malfoy!"

"What's going on?" Hermione asked. "Malfoy!" she exclaimed when she saw his wand drawn.

"GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" But before Ron could lunge at the blonde, Draco had his wand pointed at the lanky redhead.

"One more step, Weasley, and we'll all see how wonderful you'll look as a weasel."

"Not nearly as good as you looked as a ferret," Ginny said, but her eyes did not hold the hostility she spoke with. His respect grew for the girl. She was keeping his and Harry's secret _and_ helped them not get caught. Ron chuckled at his sister's quip, not realizing that she didn't mean it.

"This is ridiculous," said Hermione. "Come on Harry, Ron. We're already late for class. You should be there, too, Malfoy. Slughorn doesn't like you as it is. He'll dock points if you show up late and that looks bad for prefects."

"Aww, looking out for me, Granger? How sweet. But don't worry about me. I'm a big boy."

"Ugh fine! Be late, for all I care. Come on, guys. Let him get a detention." She walked off, dragging reluctant Ron and Harry with her.

Draco and Ginny, who were still holding their wands towards each other, stared at their retreating forms. Ginny shook her head and pocketed her wand.

"I'm going. Malfoy, _do_ be more careful, next time, yeah? Oh and I'll hex your jewels off, shove them down your throat, and deliver you to Voldemort myself if you hurt Harry. Bye!" She ran off and might have laughed at the expression on his face had she seen it.

* * *

><p>"Ah, Mr. Malfoy. How nice of you to join us."<p>

"Sorry, professor."

"No excuses?"

Draco shrugged. "I don't have one."

"Well, alright… five points from Slytherin, then. Go sit at your table and get your things out. Class, we are brewing Amortentia, today! At the end of the period, volunteers will tell us what they smell! You will be brewing your own potion. I suppose you can give your friends pointers if they get something wrong… you may talk, but keep it to a minimum! Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, I hope I will not have to move Harry again. Begin!"

While the Gryffindors were surprised Slughorn did not give Draco detention, they said nothing and began. Hermione, Harry, and Ron sat at their own table, as usual, while Draco, Blaise, Theo, and Pansy were at theirs. Harry and Draco kept stealing glances at each other when they could, but for the most part, they paid attention to what they were doing. Amortentia didn't seem difficult, but it really was. You had to get every single thing right, every measurement, every cut of every chopped up ingredient. He did not have the Prince's book, anymore, but he had confidence in himself when Snape was not teaching him.

He truly liked Slughorn as a professor. Instead of sitting at the front of the room making snide comments and taking points off, he made rounds and gave people pointers, or told them to do this or that instead of what they had been doing. Harry concentrated on his potion and by the end of class, was quite surprised when Slughorn said that it was 'Quite perfect!'

"Now, as all of you have at least a decent potion," he smiled at Neville, who had produced a very nice Amortentia, "are there any volunteers to say what they smell? What attracts you all? Hm? Hands?" A few hands went up. "Yes, Miss Parkinson?"

"Um, daffodils, chocolate, tea, and… something I can't quite place," she said, blushing.

Slughorn beamed. "Ah, love! Anyone else? So we don't have to embarrass Miss Parkinson anymore?" Hermione had already told the class in the first lesson of the year what she smelled, so she kept her hand down. "Miss Brown?"

"I smell lavender," she giggled, "perfume, and flowers and Won-Won!" she giggled uncontrollably as Ron blushed and looked away. The other students snickered and Hermione pursed her lips but said nothing. She turned away from Ron and made a fuss about looking up something in her notes.

As the other students said what they smelled, Harry was quite confused. He smelled the wood of his broomstick, the polish he used for it, pine, fresh mountain air – and Draco's scent. He knew Draco attracted him – that was obvious. But why would Draco's scent mean enough to Harry to be in his Amortentia?

"Harry, m'boy! Would you tell us what you smell?"

"Uh…" Harry really didn't want to, but he had to humor Slughorn if he was to get that memory Dumbledore had been so adamant about… "My broomstick, broom polish, pine trees, and fresh air."

"Oh very nice, very nice!"

It had actually been a very pleasant lesson. Slughorn was a fantastic teacher, no matter how hard he has proven it was to get that stupid memory. Harry had pushed too far after the lesson ended, though, and Slughorn now wanted to avoid him. He tried talking to the professor once more after that a few days later, but the man had shut the little window on his door in Harry's face.

Harry had dinner and went up to the room he shared with Ron, Dean, and Seamus, but only Ron was there. He was sitting in front of the window, clutching a red heart-shaped box to his chest and staring dreamily at the stars.

After realizing what happened to Ron, Harry took him to to Slughorn's private quarters and explained to him that Ron had accidentally taken a love potion. Slughorn ushered them inside and gave Ron the antidote. He offered them fine oak-matured mead from a bottle that had been gift-wrapped to boost Ron's mood, but when Ron took the first sip, he dropped the glass and fell onto the floor. His mouth was foaming and his body was writhing, scaring Harry out of his mind. He ran to Slughorn's drawers and found a bezoar, then forced it down Ron's throat, saving his life. When Ron came-to, he looked at Harry with an incredulous expression.

"These girls… they're gonna kill me, Harry." Then he fainted.

He ended up in the hospital wing and the next day, Harry, Ginny, and Hermione visited him along with professors Dumbledore, Snape, Slughorn, and Mcgonagall. It had been learned that Slughorn meant to give that bottle to Dumbledore, but it was not he who poisoned it.

This chilled Harry to the bone. First the necklace, and now this… someone was clearly trying to kill the headmaster.

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><p>I hope you enjoyed that. More soon!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. Just this story line.

Reviews are greatly appreciated, thank you!

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><p>"WON-WON! WON-WON! Ohh, how is he? Is he okay? Has he been asking for me?"<p>

Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes and Ginny and Hermione glared when Lavender Brown burst through the hospital wing doors. However, her demeanor changed when she noticed that Hermione was there.

"What is _she_ doing here?!" she asked no one in particular – perhaps Harry and Ginny.

"I could ask the same question," Hermione retorted angrily.

"I _happen_ to be his girlfriend!"

"And I happen to be his friend! Of six years! I would think I have priority over you!"

"Oh don't be stupid, you haven't spoken much in weeks. All I ever see you do is either argue or not speak at all! What kind of a friend is that?"

Hermione stood violently, dropping Ron's hand. Harry and Ginny, as well as Pomfrey, Snape, Slughorn, McGonagall, and Dumbledore, watched with interest. "There is more than one side to a fight! Just because you're in a relationship with your precious _Won-Won_ doesn't mean he can do no wrong!"

Lavender was about to shout back at Hermione when Ron muttered something, and she gasped. "There, see? He senses my presence." Hermione sat back down and took Ron's hand in her own again – mostly to incense Lavender. Lavender placed a hand on his ankles, as they were all she could reach due to the people surrounding his bed. "It's alright, I'm here. I'm here."

"Er…mnee."

"What was that, darling?" Lavender crooned.

"Her… mi... one…"

Lavender took back her hand as if it had been burned. The shock was clearly written all over her face – her eyes were wide, her hand clutched her chest where her heart was, and her mouth was open like a fish.

Hermione grinned.

The blonde stood up straight and ran from the room, covering her face with her hands as her sobs echoed off the linoleum.

"Ah, to be young and feel love's keen sting," Dumbledore said.

Hermione turned her eyes back to Ron's face and her hand wrapped a bit tighter around his. "Shut up," She said to Harry when he sent a knowing grin at her. She beamed. Ginny smiled and got up with Harry to leave them alone.

* * *

><p>"I saw you bump into Potter, earlier."<p>

Draco sneered while keeping his eyes on his essay. He was lying on his stomach on his bed, which was across from Blaise's. "Yeah. That disgusting, lowlife halfblood was just being himself, as usual."

"I know."

"Good."

"No, I mean… I _know_. About you two."

Draco's head snapped up and his heart nearly stopped. "What are you talking about, Blaise?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I most certainly do not."

"Don't play games with me, Draco," the darker boy said in a sterner voice. "I'm your best friend, for Merlin's sake. Why can't you trust me with this?"

This made Draco feel extremely guilty, and he looked back down at his essay. "I do trust you," he said childishly.

"But you didn't tell me about you two at first, and you're denying it now." Contrary to his words, Blaise's voice was not accusatory. He wasn't truly angry, just a little hurt. "Draco, I understand why you didn't come to me about this, but I don't understand why you're denying it after I've figured it out."

"I'm sorry, okay? It's just… _embarrassing!_"

"Is it?" Now Blaise always had this way of being wise when you least expected it. He was a fun-loving eccentric guy, but every once in a while, he would turn serious on you and say something odd and helpful. "If it really was embarrassing, would you still be with him? Spend time with him? ... Kiss him?"

"How do you know about that?!"

"Forgive me… I followed you two weeks ago to make sure you were alright. I wasn't trying to spy on you – you got a note from one of the three white owls in the school so naturally, I was curious. I knew you were feeling down and I wanted to see if you were going to do some more work on the cabinet or go somewhere else to be alone. I followed you to the astronomy tower and I wanted to talk to you, but then I saw Potter there."

Draco's eyes scanned Blaise's for any deceit, but he found none. Only severe loyalty and worry. He knew that his friend only had his best interests at heart, and his happiness. He was truly a great friend. "How much did you see?"

"Not much. I left after you kissed him. But I am worried about you."

Draco's cheeks were burning, now. "Oh. Well… thanks, I guess. I'm fine. Really."

"I'll let that go, Draco. For now." Draco merely grunted. "What's the main ingredient for the mermaid transformation potion?"

"Skin cells from human legs."

"Ah, right. Should'a known that." After he wrote that down, he sighed. "I need to say something that's been eating away at me ever since I found out about you. I feel ashamed of myself, and guilty... Pansy and I were joking with you about being gay at that Gryffindor practice over a month ago, and you got so upset... we should have known, and we shouldn't have teased you about it. I'm sorry."

Draco shrugged. "Forget it. It's fine."

"Don't do that, it's not fine. I know you're not into expressing your emotions, but I know you. You were probably really confused and embarrassed about having feelings for him and I know our comments hurt you. So, I'm sorry."

"... Thanks."

Blaise knew that was all he would get from Draco, so he changed the subject. "So how long have you two been seeing each other?"

"Couple of weeks." Draco's face flushed. "Maybe… a month."

"If you don't mind me asking… how the _hell_ did _that_ happen? You've been enemies for years, and he almost killed you." Finally Blaise's eyes showed the old Blaise instead of the weird, wise one Draco found creepy and endearing at the same time.

"That was in October."

"Draco, that was the beginning of last month. Don't tell me you got together so soon after he almost killed you."

"Oh I don't know. When he cast that curse on me, he looked horrified at what he'd done. He tried to heal me, but all he knew was a flimsy, minor healer spell. I told him to fuck off but he didn't. I was losing blood fast and was in a lot of pain, so I told him to get Snape, and he did."

"Wow."

"That night, he came to see me under his invisibility cloak."

Blaise's eyes widened. "He went to visit you?"

"Yeah. I was asleep, so he woke me up – all just to give me some chocolate."

"Wow. That was… nice. Chocolate has healing powers. I suppose that's why he gave it to you – and to try to make up for what he did to you, I guess."

"That's what he said when he gave it to me. He seemed embarrassed to be there, waking me up to just give me chocolate, but… well, I dunno."

"You thought it was sweet."

Draco looked up at him and shrugged, not daring to answer Blaise's statement. He went back to his essay. "We bumped into each other a few days after that and were sent sprawling to the floor. I, ah, fell on top of him… you get the picture." Draco was blushing and he knew it, so he hid his face by faking concentration on his essay.

"Images, Draco!"

"Fuck off. You asked. HEY!"

Blaise had thrown a pillow at Draco. Draco looked up at his friend, scandalized, and Blaise, who was rolling around on his bed, was laughing hysterically and clutching his sides.

"You-you should see your _face_! Hahahahaha!"

Draco threw a quill at Blaise, but he ducked, still laughing. He grinned when the corners of Draco's mouth twitched. "Anyway, we, ah, kind of realized that we were attracted to each other… must I continue with this? We're guys. We aren't suited for girl talk."

Blaise was grinning from ear to ear, and Draco's face was as red as a tomato. "Fine, fine. I get it. You're in love."

"WHAT?! I am – what are you – I AM NOT IN LOVE!" he roared. "WHY are you _laughing_?!"

"Because you're so blind, you can't even see it."

"It's impossible to fall in love that quickly, you fool!"

"No it's not, but, well then, you're falling at least."

"I AM NOT!"

"Okay." Blaise obviously didn't believe him. Draco grumbled something about idiot friends and their idiotic meddling and idiotic ideas.

Blaise threw another pillow at him. "Dude!" But Draco cracked a smile. Blaise was laughing hysterically again. "Anyway," the blonde began, "back to more serious matters… in the hospital wing… I… think he saw my arm."

Blaise sobered. "Why?"

"My sleeve was pushed up when I woke up so I assume he saw it. I dunno… he hasn't said anything about it, so…"

"Maybe he didn't see it," Blaise finished.

"I hope not."

"You do realize that if this… whatever you two have, gets serious, he'll eventually find out."

"I can hide them. With charms and such."

"And when he does find out, he'll feel betrayed because you never told him about it."

"What am I supposed to do? Pull up my sleeve and say, 'Hey Potter, look at me. I cut and I'm emo. Oh and look! I also have the dark mark.'"

"First of all, you're not emo, Draco, and stop being a pompous ass. You're dealing with something very serious and it's weighing on you. That would cause anyone to snap, and you needed an outlet. That doesn't make you emo. Trying to show everyone your arm would be emo. Secondly, it is a temporary, initiate dark mark, not a real one, and it was forced on you. Thirdly, you should be calling him Harry, not Potter. Doesn't he get upset about that? I would if my girlfriend called me Zabini."

"I do call him Harry. Sometimes."

"Whatever you say. Anyway, I dunno how you should let him know, but eventually, he is going to find out if he doesn't already know. I just don't think you should hide it with magic. Let him see. By accident. You don't have to outright show him, but don't try to hide it too much, either. I mean… eventually, you two are going to do stuff that requires shirts to be taken off."

"No." Blaise's eyes widened. "No, Blaise. It's not just the cuts, it's the dark mark!"

"Well, I think you should tell him about that, too."

"WHAT?! Are you nuts?"

"I think you should trust him, Draco. If you want to be freed of this, he's your only hope. Potter is your only way out."

"There you go spouting nonsense wisdom, again except this time, it doesn't make sense! You know what'll happen if I fail! _He will kill me and my parents!_"

"He won't kill you because you'll be under the protection of the Order of the Phoenix," Blaise said matter-of-factly. "I'm sure Dumbledore will give you and your parents a place to stay, whether it be headquarters or with the Weasleys – somewhere. Please, just think about it. Promise me you'll at least think about it."

"… Maybe."

Well, it was a start.

* * *

><p>The next day, Ron was released from the hospital wing. It was dinner time, so he, Harry, Ginny, and Hermione were at the Gryffindor table. Ron gulped every time he looked over at Lavender, who was sitting with Padma at the next table over.<p>

"She's scary when she's all over you," he said, "but she's even scarier when she's digging a fork into the table and glaring at you."

"So stop looking at her!" Hermione said.

"It's kinda hard not to – she's right in my line of vision."

Hermione, who had her back to Lavender, scooted to the left so that she was now blocking Lavender from Ron's view.

"Thanks," he said. "Why is she angry, again?"

"You really don't remember?" Hermione asked exasperatedly.

"No…"

"You don't remember anything you might have said yesterday when we were around you in the hospital wing? Anything at all?"

"Well… maybe something… but I was too boggled to really be thinking, right?"

Hermione looked down. "Right… boggled."

Ginny rolled her eyes – leave it to her brother to ruin Hermione's happiness without even knowing it. "You said her name in your medically induced state, moron," she told him.

"Huh? Lavender's?"

"No! Hermione's!"

Hermione looked scandalized; she had _not _expected Ginny to say that.

Ron turned beet red all the way to his ears. "I… I did? Oh… no wonder she's so mad at me… well, I guess it's over between us… man I'm glad for that… yeah…"

They ate in relative silence, none of them really having much to say. When Hermione and Ron were finished, they stood as their plates vanished. "We'll see you in a few, Harry, Ginny," Hermione said. Ron just waved, as he still had food in his mouth.

"See you," Harry and Ginny said. Harry glanced over at Ginny for about the fiftieth time that day since she saw him kissing Draco. She was currently drinking her juice, and when she opened her eyes, she caught him staring at her but he looked away.

"What?"

"Hm? Nothing."

"Harry, you were just staring at me, and you have been all through dinner. What is it?"

Harry looked at her again, trying to figure out what to say. "You're… not going to ask questions?"

"About what?"

He gave her a pointed look. "You know what."

She looked around her and decided that this was not the right place to have this conversation, so she got up and, with Harry in tow, left the Great Hall. They did not notice when a blonde got up and discretely followed them.

"Harry, I'm glad you found someone, no matter who it is. Well, if it was Voldemort, I'd be a little concerned."

Harry choked as he laughed. He loved that he was able to joke with her like this, especially after the ordeal she went through in her first year with said dark lord. "Well, Tom Riddle _was_ pretty handsome when he was younger. OW!" Ginny smacked his arm, and they started laughing all over again.

"Anyway, back to matters that do _not_ involve sticking images in Ginny's head about you and Riddle…" Harry snorted. "I've noticed a change in you, and I couldn't figure out why you got happier and more energetic all of a sudden. Now I know."

"But it's Draco Malfoy. He's terrorized us since my first year, and his father gave you that diary. Don't you have any objections?"

Draco winced, even though he knew Harry was only digging at Ginny to see if she really had any doubts.

"That was his father's doing, Harry. Not his," she said softly. "And has he done anything this year, really? If you've noticed, he's laid off us. I've noticed that he looks a little down, sometimes… like something's going on in his life that made him grow up. I dunno. But that's his business. Anyway, I'm fine with it, okay? I know what you're doing. Stop. I have no problem with this, just as long as he doesn't hurt you."

Harry filled with love and devotion for the girl, as well as confusion as to how anyone could be such a good friend. "Why are you so accepting of it?"

"Because he clearly makes you happy, and there is obviously something good about him because it caught _your_ interest. He must be good, or he wouldn't have changed your heart so drastically. And that's good enough for me."

They stopped walking and he turned to her. "Thanks, Gin. For not judging me, and for keeping our secret." Harry blushed lightly. "For, uh…"

"For what?"

"For... you know..."

"Pulling that little stunt in the hallway, is what I think he's trying to say," came Draco's voice from behind them. They jumped and spun around. He was leaning on the wall with his arms crossed loosely over his chest.

"Oh, well I wasn't going to let Ron and Hermione catch you in the act. Can you imagine how _that_ would've gone?" Ginny asked, looking at Harry, who shuddered. "And you!" She pointed at Draco. "Don't go sneaking up on people like that! You scared the begeeses out of me!"

Draco snorted. "Well, it's what I specialize in. Anyway, you didn't give me time to thank you, Weaslette, before threatening my family jewels and running off."

"Hm. Just find a room next time. I don't want to have to gouge my eyes out again." Draco and Harry chuckled. "Ohmigosh! You actually _laughed_! I didn't think you were capable of that," she said, pointing at Draco.

"I tend to do it, sometimes. It's quite rare. You're lucky to have seen it."

"Pompous ass," she mumbled.

Draco looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "Do you hang out with Blaise Zabini, by any chance?"

"Huh? No, why?"

"Nothing. You two would get along quite well. You have the same thought process, at any rate… anyway, see you, Weaslette. Harry."

As he walked away, Harry smiled; Draco had used his name in front of Ginny.

* * *

><p>I hope you enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed writing it. :) Please review! I haven't gotten any for the last few chapters and it has made me sad! lol Thank you for the many favorites and follows, though! I appreciate it!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. Just this particular plot. **

**I hope you enjoy this one. It's a bit dark… but you'll get over it. :D **

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><p>It was fairly late, but Ginny wasn't tired at all. She gathered up her books and went down to the kitchens to do some homework. She did this often; it's how she always got her work done. She fished around for the invisibility cloak Harry always stuffed under the chair in the corner for them if they needed it after hours. Ginny made use of it often. She, Ron, Harry, and Hermione always left notes that only they could read when they took it. She left the note under the chair and left the common room.<p>

* * *

><p>The kitchens were large – so large that they had divisions. When you walk through the portrait hole, you don't see the kitchens right away because there was a small room that divided the portrait hole from the kitchens where everything was prepared. The room looked like someone's personal kitchenette. There was a small table in the corner that Ginny always occupied for hours, surrounded by books and parchment when she couldn't sleep, a small fridge, and a few sofa chairs in the other corner.<p>

When she got to the first floor, she tickled the pear in the painting that guarded the kitchens and slipped inside, but she wasn't expecting anyone to be in there.

"Malfoy? What are you doing here?"

Draco was sitting with his back to her next to where she usually sat – with her back to the wall and left side towards the door. He turned. "Oh, It's you. Nothing. Couldn't sleep. Why are you here?"

"I always come down here to do homework after hours."

"Hm." He went back to his tea.

"Wow, you're not gonna take points away?"

"I'm here too, aren't I?"

"You're a prefect, you're allowed," Ginny deadpanned.

"A prefect who's not on duty. Do you want me to take points away? Just say the word and it shall be done."

Ginny giggled at his sarcastic remark. She almost expected him to bow to her like a genie would. Just then, the second door – the door to the kitchens – flew open.

"Miz Weezy! It is being a pleasure to see you, as always. Would you like the usual?"

"Yes, thank you, Dobby. It's good to see you, too."

Dobby snapped his fingers and a tray with hot black tea and milk appeared. He motioned towards the table and it hovered over to it, setting itself down in front of Ginny's usual spot.

"We is finishing up in there, Mizz Weezy and Master Malfoy. If you be needing anything, just call." Dobby vanished back into the enormous kitchen.

"Mind if I join you?" Ginny asked, not waiting for his reply before sitting down and placing a book on the table.

"Not like I have a choice."

"Nope," she said happily. Before she started her astronomy assignment, she fixed up her tea, heating the milk before adding it.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, puzzled. Who warmed their _milk_?

"Heating the milk. What does it look like?"

"Why?"

"Because then it won't make my tea go cold."

Draco's eyes widened. That was… brilliant. "I never thought of that… my tea always goes cold, and then I have to reheat it."

"Yes, that's why I do it. Reheating tea always changes the taste and it's not as good. Hey, we're actually having a pleasant conversation."

"Mm," he mumbled his acknowledgment, taking a sip of his now lukewarm tea.

"It's nice."

He looked at her, puzzled again. "Huh?"

"I've never liked the stupid fighting. I always found it silly and unnecessary."

"But… I insulted your family, even if I never really insulted you to your face. You're just going to forget that? My, Weaslette. I misjudged you. I thought you were a spitfire."

"Yeah, well… you were an idiot, and you weren't the only one who would instigate. Harry and Ron did a lot of that, too. I despised you then, but I didn't hate you. And you make Harry happy so I'll accept that and move on… as long as you stop. Oh and I am a spitfire. It would be ignorant of you to think you have me figured."

"Oh come now. You do realize that I can't stop, right? Unless you want me to blow our cover."

"As long as you don't mean them, spew all the insults you want to my brother. Merlin knows he sometimes deserves them. But no more calling Hermione a mudblood. And me Weaslette. Deal?"

She held out her hand, and he hesitantly took it. "Deal to the first, Weaslette." He grinned.

She made a miffed sound, but grudgingly accepted that he would never stop calling her that. She didn't really mind all that much, though; it wasn't an insult. Just him being annoying. "Now the position of Mars is here…" She marked off an area on her star chart. "And… Mercury… here… now where is…"

She opened her astronomy book and got lost in it while Draco shook his head and held back a chuckle. The Weaslette wasn't failing to amuse him. She could make a good friend… if he was willing to let her in. She was witty, quick, smart, and didn't hold grudges. She should meet Pansy, Blaise, and Theo. They'd get along well.

"So, Harry's lover, huh? You weren't kiddin'. Why'd you say it, though?"

He realized she was talking about the other day. He wasn't comfortable talking about it with her, though, so he replied with the only thing he knew – defense and smugness.

"Well of course I knew you wouldn't believe me. I did it to get under your skin. You were suggesting he go out with someone, so I staked my claim. It's your fault for not believing it."

"Yeah right. Like _you _would have believed that if you were in my position. Ha! Draco Malfoy, the jealous type. Who woulda thought? UGH WHERE THE HELL IS JUPITER?! Oh… there it is…"

Draco's tea almost went everywhere. "And you get mad at _me _for sneaking up on you. You're very strange. Do you know that?"

"I'm told that every day and I'm quite proud of it."

Draco and Ginny had a pleasant time in that little room. Draco even took out some of his own homework and they worked together. Not many words were passed between them, but none were needed. Draco had gone up to bed first, and Ginny followed not long after.

* * *

><p>"Draco, how far have you gotten with your task?"<p>

"I… I have been unsuccessful with killing him, My Lord, but my progress with the vanishing cabinet is going very well. I believe I have it almost fixed."

"Very good. Draco, this is your only chance to redeem your family's honor after your disgraceful father failed at the Ministry. You know that. Now let's see to it that you speed up your progress. _Crucio_."

Draco was not expecting this, so it took him off guard and he screamed. However, the next time Voldemort cursed him, he was ready, and did not open his mouth. He grunted and groaned, and by the time Voldemort was finished with him, he could barely keep his eyes open. When Voldemort left the room, Snape waved away the other death eaters and walked over to Draco. He helped him up and took him back to Hogwarts.

As Draco lay on his back in his room, he thought of how much he loathed Voldemort and how much he wanted to kill him. But his anger soon evaporated, and was replaced with despair. There was no hope for him. Blaise was wrong. He would either do his job and live a miserable life filled with agony and torment, or he would sabotage the operation and be killed along with his parents. The latter sounded better, but he knew that his death would be drawn out and agonizing. He pulled his left sleeve up to his elbow, reached for the knife in his pocket, and held the blade up to his white skin. He watched as his blood ran down his arm as he held it above him after he made the cut, not bothering to wipe it away. It stopped at his elbow.

He made another one over the mark. His blood spilled down his arm and onto his shirt, this time. He wanted so desperately to stop thinking about his fate, but it was impossible; it was all that kept him alive. But he knew that no matter what he did, his life would end horribly. He might be forced to watch as his parents were murdered by Voldemort. Be forced to commit murder. Watch… watch Harry be killed… he shut his eyes tight. He couldn't bear the thought of his parents' or Harry's deaths. His knife drifted up to his wrist, to the joint where his arm and hand met, to the blue veins clearly visible through his pale skin. He had never cut there before. He always did it further up in case his sleeve moved and someone saw. He thought of ending his life for the first time. No one would care… his parents would be killed, anyway… this way, he wouldn't have to watch them scream as their lives were taken viciously by Voldemort. He wouldn't have to feel the unbearable pain when he found out that Harry was killed. He slashed.

* * *

><p>"PROFESSOR!" Blaise banged on the door. "PROFESSOR SNAPE!"<p>

"Zabini what on Earth are you shouting about at this hour?!" Snape asked after wrenching open his door.

"Draco!"

Severus paled slightly. "What happened?" _'I just left his room a short while ago after making sure he was fine. What could he possibly have done in that time?'_

"He needs a blood replenishing potion! He… he cuts, and he went too deep this time. There's blood all over his bed. I don't know how much he's lost!"

"You know about that?" Severus asked, running back into his apartment and shoving his hand into his cabinet. When he had what he needed, he rushed out the door and locked it.

"Yes… I didn't know you did, too…"

"Of course I know about it. I take care of him every time he comes back from a meeting with the Dark Lord. When you are unconscious, it makes it hard to hide your arms from someone who is taking off your shirt to heal you."

Blaise followed his professor's long strides down to the Slytherin common room and into the triple he shared with Draco and Theo, who was absent at the moment. Probably off on a 'conquest.' Draco's lips were already turning blue and his sheets and clothes were soaked with his blood.

"Hold him up," Snape ordered. Blaise held his friend's back and head upright so Snape could pour the potion into Draco's mouth. Once that was done, Blaise lowered him and Severus held a cloth tightly to Draco's wrist.

"Can't you close it?" the darker boy asked.

"Self-inflicted wounds cannot be healed by magic."

"Oh…"

"Hold this," he said to Blaise, motioning to Draco's wrist. "As hard as you can. That gash is deep."

Blaise responded with no hesitation. He was so worried, so scared. His best friend was dying as he lay there on his bed. Blaise pressed the cloth to Draco's wrist as hard as he could, and he silently thanked the gods for the years of quidditch training that made his hands and arms so strong.

Severus muttered spells and enchantments while his hand and wand hovered over the boy's body, one of which was _enervate_. The potion was working, and fast. The color returned to Draco's face and lips, and his eyes fluttered open. He stared groggily into the faces of his best friend and professor, and groaned.

"Why would you do something so idiotic, Draco?" Severus growled. "You almost died."

"That was the point. It clearly didn't work."

"Do you know how many people you would have hurt?"

"Doesn't matter," Draco mumbled. His head was still swimming a bit and his voice was slurred. "They'll all die by Voldemort's hands, anyway. Why should I stick around to watch?"

"You _idiot_," Blaise said. Draco turned his head to the left to look at him, for he was still holding Draco's wrist on the other side of the bed. "Don't you realize that if we stick with Potter and the Order, Voldemort has much less of a chance of winning? We almost _lost_ you! HOW COULD YOU BE SO SELFISH?!"

"Blaise, keep it down," Snape snapped, though more gentle than he normally would have been.

Draco was stunned by the tears in his best friend's eyes. He glanced away, unable to look at Blaise.

Snape stood. "Well, now that he's awake and alright, I'm going to return to my quarters. Draco, I expect to see you tomorrow at eight after dinner. Don't be late."

Draco hadn't the strength to groan as his godfather left the room. He knew how much pain he caused him just by looking at his eyes. He hated hurting or disappointing his godfather more than anything else.

"Draco…" Draco winced at the shudder and raw pain in Blaise's voice. "Please don't ever do that again…"

"I won't."

"Cutting, too."

"I'll try."

"You won't promise to not cut again?"

"I can't make a promise I know I won't keep."

"What about… killing yourself?" Blaise almost whispered.

"I won't. I promise." He was too weak to argue.

"Would you take an unbreakable? About trying, not succeeding but trying, to not cut at all?"

"You don't believe me?" Draco asked, glancing back at Blaise.

"Not… not really…"

"I wouldn't, either."

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading. Please tell me what you thought! Reviews make me really happy! :D<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Enjoy!

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><p>"Come in. Good evening, Draco. Sit." Severus sighed as he saw the still slightly paler-than-normal skin of Draco's face.<p>

"Good evening, sir."

"Draco, please. This isn't a detention or a meeting with a professor. I'm your godfather."

"Alright… well you obviously want me to talk."

Severus nodded. He wanted to be mature about this and wanted Draco to look up to him, but he crumbled under the weight of what Draco tried to do last night. "Draco, why did you do that? I thought you would never even think of it. At least that's what you always tell me. What caused you to think that… death... was the answer? What caused you to want it?" He forced himself to say the word, shuddering inwardly.

Draco looked at his knees. He couldn't bring himself to look at his godfather's eyes. "I realized something."

"And what was that?"

"That no matter what I do, my life will end miserably and painfully. Why should I wait around for that?"

"That is not the only option you have," Severus said. Draco looked up at him skeptically. "The sooner you realize and accept that, the better. You know who's side I am really on. And you know that if he had a choice, your father would join us. But he doesn't, and your mother has to remain quiet. Draco, the Order will help you. You turn seventeen in January. You will be qualified to join then, and I know we will give you protection."

Draco furiously jumped up from his chair. "Don't you get it?! I HAVE to do this! If I don't, he'll kill my family and everyone else I care about! And then me!"

"If you let us help you, he won't ever get that chance," his godfather stated quietly. He did not want to rile Draco up, so he kept his voice calm. "Let Dumbledore help you. Let _me_ help you. Remember, I took an unbreakable vow to keep you safe. Do not think for a moment that I won't do everything in my power to do so. I personally won't let Voldemort murder your parents. Don't you believe me? Trust me?"

"I do! But… I… URGH!" Draco shoved himself back in his seat.

"Draco, please don't try that ever again. Don't make me force you to live here with me. I want to trust you, but I don't think I can. You promised me many times that you wouldn't kill yourself, but I almost _lost_ you last night. You are like a son to me... I would have been devastated. And so would every other person who cares about you." Draco looked as guilty as he felt. "You are a strong and experienced person. You know a lot, and are a very good student. You would be an extremely valuable asset to the Order. But most importantly, everyone who loves you would love to keep you in their lives."

"Severus… I don't want to watch my parents die. You die. My friends die. My…"

"Your…?"

"Nothing."

"What is it? Tell me."

Draco looked panicked, and this made Severus curious. "I-I don't… it's nothing, Sev."

"You know I won't be angry with you, and if it's something I can help you with –"

"You can't," Draco said quickly. He flushed, and Severus developed a knowing glint in his eyes.

"Oh… I see. A love interest?"

"NO!" Draco received narrowed eyes from his godfather, and he shrunk further into the chair.

"What is she like?"

"Ah… well… um…"

"Oh come now, I'd like to know. You don't have to tell me who she is."

"It'snotashe," Draco said as quickly as possible.

"Sorry?"

"It's... not a... she..."

"Not… oh." He watched as his godson's face turned scarlet. At least there was some more color to his face. "Well then, what is _he_ like?"

Draco looked up at him with wide eyes. "You're… you're not disgusted?"

"No Draco, why would I be?"

"'Cause... 'cause I'm... _gay_."

"That doesn't matter to me, though I wish you could have come to me about it sooner. You should never feel ashamed of your feelings. You are a lot happier than you were at the start of term. He must be special to have caught your interest. I can tell that he has captured your heart, whoever he is."

"Thanks, Sev."

"Does he return your feelings?"

"Yeah..."

"Well you obviously aren't ready to talk about him so I won't prod. But I will say, do not let go of him. You are the happiest I have ever seen you – before yesterday, that is. Do not worry me like that again, Draco."

"I won't… please don't tell my parents."

"I won't. As long as you promise me to never do that again. I know I cannot put a stop to your habit, but if you try to... kill yourself again, I will have to take action. Not as a teacher, Draco, but as your godfather."

"Okay."

"Good night, Draco."

"Good night, Sev."

But Draco did not feel heartened by his godfather's words. Instead, he felt worse. He would be better off without Harry, and Harry would be better off without him. But… he felt so attached. He felt as if Harry was the only one who could save him. That really scared him - he'd always been independent.

As he drifted off to sleep, thoughts of Harry that made him smile turned into thoughts of death and destruction, sadness and pain. His mind was filled with so many different thoughts and feelings that he thought he might explode, but he finally slipped into sleep, and did not dream.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Harry."<p>

"Oh, hi Gin. What's up?"

"Excited about the game!"

"Yeah, me too."

"Ravenclaw is going to get their asses kicked!"

"Ginevra Weasley, watch your mouth," Ginny heard McGonagall say as she walked by, but when Ginny turned, she saw her professor holding back a smirk. Ginny smiled when no house points were taken away.

"Alright I'm going to class. See ya later, Harry!"

Harry waved. It was just after lunch and he had a free period. He knew Draco did, too, so he went in search for him. He didn't have to look long, for after about ten minutes, he saw Draco slip away and out of the crowded hallway, so he decided to follow. He followed him all the way up to the astronomy tower and into the cold air, wondering why Draco loved it so much up there.

"Hey."

Draco looked up, surprised to see Harry. He thought he was alone. "Hi."

"What's up?"

"Nothing, really. Just came up here to get some fresh air."

"You seem to like it up here."

"It's peaceful. That's hard to find these days. Moments like these are precious." _'Please don't say anything that will make me explode…'_ Draco was wound up so tight, he thought he might burst. His night of sleep hadn't helped any.

"Yeah, but you can find ways to slip away from reality and have a bit of fun."

Draco glanced at Harry. "You can't escape reality, Harry. There's a war going on out there, and the final battle will be bloody and filled with death. You can't forget what's happening outside of Hogwarts."

Harry was a little taken aback at how serious Draco was being, especially with him. "I don't forget… I never forget. If you remember, I've faced Voldemort every year of school so far. I don't doubt I'll face him again this year, but while this is going on, I can still find time to be carefree and happy."

Harry slipped his arms around Draco's waist and breathed in his scent, but as soon as he did this, he was pushed away. "Ugh, stop it!"

Harry's eyes widened and he shrank back at Draco's forceful tone. "What's wrong?" he asked timidly.

"YOU! You're what's wrong! You're always so optimistic about everything!"

"I… I'm sorry… I thought…"

"What? What _did_ you think? That's just IT, Potter! You DON'T think! The world is not a nice, pretty, happy little place. It's full of death, misery, depression, destruction, rape, and murder! And you always act as if NOTHING IS WRONG! We're in a WAR, Potter! HOW can you be so optimistic?!"

Harry's heart tore at every harsh word that was thrown at him and every angry flash of Draco's eyes. Draco has lashed out at him before, but never like this.

"I have to," Harry said softly. "Staying strong and happy gives us a one-up on them. If we don't try to keep our spirits up, we become miserable and hurt those close to us. I learned that the hard way. I know now that you can't lose yourself to the despair and anger, or you'll be pulled too far into it to bring yourself back out."

"ARGH! Get AWAY from me! Leave me alone! Go and live your pathetic, happy little life! The world is _wicked_, Potter! But you will never get that! So go on without me! I don't want this anymore! Leave me! LEAVE ME!"

Part of him realized that he was pushing Harry away so that Harry would get over him and not have to be attached to someone so tied down, someone who wasn't going anywhere with his life. Someone who would probably die within the next couple of years. It was safer this way. But Draco's mind wasn't paying attention to that. True, that was the reason he was pushing Harry away, but another was because he was jealous of Harry, of how Harry can be so carefree at times and know how to have fun. That Harry wasn't… Voldemort's puppet. He was jealous of Harry's freedom, but at the same time, he didn't want Harry to get into trouble for being with Draco Malfoy, evil-doer and death eater son.

His mind had snapped due to all of the pressure building up inside him, because of the death of that poor bird, the realization that he had almost killed Ron Weasley, that he was trying to kill Dumbledore, who, besides Severus and his father, he trusted most... that he couldn't break free from Voldemort.

Draco's heart broke at the sight of his lover's sad eyes, but he said no more. Harry turned and left without a word. He just… left. No shouting, no questions. Draco screamed and began throwing things. Tears traveled down his pale face as he broke everything in sight, no matter how many times the trinkets used in astronomy classes repaired themselves.

'_He doesn't know you tried to kill yourself. He's confused because you didn't give him a reason. He couldn't possibly know what you're going through,_' Draco thought to himself.

But that didn't matter. He knew he hurt Harry very badly. He knew that his outburst was uncalled for, and Harry was probably very upset and confused. But that didn't matter right now. Draco was furious and out of control. He stayed up there until he exhausted himself; he must have been there for hours. Then he trudged all the way down to the dungeons where the Slytherin common room was located and promptly fell asleep. He couldn't bring himself to eat dinner, or even to cut.

* * *

><p>It had been four days. Harry was so depressed that he was bringing everyone down around him. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were <em>beside<em> themselves with trying to figure out what was bothering him, but Ginny thought she knew. It had to have something to do with Draco, because Harry had been _so happy_. Now, he was… well, more than miserable. She had never seen him like this, and she didn't know what to do to make him feel better. She wanted to talk to him about it, though. She needed to. So she approached him in the common room late one night when everyone else had gone up to bed. It was five days since his drastic mood change.

"Harry?"

He was sitting in front of the fire, staring into the dying flames. He glanced up at her, and went back to the fire. "Hi Gin."

"Hey." She sat next to him. "Harry… what happened?"

"Huh?"

She shook her head and sighed. "What happened," she prodded. "You're so sad. Please tell me. We're all really worried about you."

"I can't tell them," he mumbled. "They wouldn't understand. They'd forget their worry and go straight to yelling at me for what I did. At least Ron will. You're the only one I can talk to about this." He stopped talking when he choked up, and she pulled him into her arms. She had guessed correctly; it _was_ about Draco.

"Did he break up with you?"

"He told me to leave. Go on without him. Live my pathetic excuse of a happy little life. He was so _angry_."

Tears fell from his brilliantly green eyes and even though she could not see them, she knew they were there, falling onto her shirt where his head lay on her chest. She stroked his hair as she sighed again. She felt an overwhelming urge to kill that son of a bitch. She WARNED him. She TOLD him she'd cut off his jewels and hand him over to Voldemort, telling him that Malfoy was a traitor to the dark side. And he was stupid if he thought she wasn't serious. But… she knew Harry wouldn't want her to do that.

"He's an asshole. I'm so sorry, Harry." She balled her right hand into a fist and clenched her teeth. That Harry was crying was serious. Harry never cried. He ranted and raved and stormed around breaking things, but he never cried. Ginny could almost feel his broken heart, and it broke hers.

"He's not an asshole. Something was very wrong. Something was bothering him much more than usual. I could tell. He was _really_ upset… and I didn't help. I just made it worse. Instead of being what he needed, I was what caused him to explode. This is my fault."

"Harry, how can you not blame him?! He's the one who hurt you! Not the other way around!"

"It _was_ my fault, Ginny. I should have been more perceptive, more sensitive to him. He needed me to be something else, but I didn't know that, or what."

"Stop blaming yourself, goddamnit!" she said roughly, and pushed him up so she was looking at him. "If he really needed your help, he would have somehow asked for it, or even if he didn't, he wouldn't have _broken up with you_!"

"You don't understand him, Gin. Don't do anything to him." When she didn't answer, he got worried. "Ginny…"

"Harry, I threatened him. I said if he hurts you, I'll make him sorry. I don't go back on my word. _Ever._"

"Please don't do anything to him. For me. He doesn't need that. Ginny, he's… not what you think. His life is… something is really wrong. He's depressed, he's hurting, and he'll kill me if he finds out I told you that. I don't know what it is because he won't tell me, but I've stumbled upon him a couple of times when he was really upset. Please don't add to that."

"What could be so horrible in his life? What could possibly make him that depressed? Are you even sure he's being truthful?"

Harry took a deep breath. He knew he could trust her with this. "He cuts, Gin." He gave her a pointed look.

Her heart skipped a beat. "What?" she asked in a hushed whisper.

"I've seen them. Only once, but I know what I saw. I went to see him in the hospital wing the night I cast _sectumsempra _on him. I saw them before I woke him. His sleeve was pushed up. He doesn't know that I know so please keep it secret. You can't tell anyone."

"Merlin…" Ginny was horror struck. She _never _would have thought that Draco Malfoy of all people was in so much turmoil that it made him harm his own body. Her feelings towards Draco completely changed.

"Don't tell anyone, Gin. Please. I told you because I trust you, and because I know it's something you'd... understand."

"I… I won't, Harry…"

She held him for almost an hour until she was sure he fell asleep. She gently stood and re-arranged him on the sofa, then got a blanket from her room. She draped it over him and put a pillow under his head. As she was walking back up to her room, her heart felt heavy. What should she do? She wanted so badly to stalk up to Malfoy and punch his lights out, but then she thought about what Harry said. That Malfoy cuts… and she felt so horribly sad for him. She fell asleep with worry settling in her chest. She was going to talk to Zabini. Tomorrow.

* * *

><p>"Do you have a minute?"<p>

Blaise stopped and stared at the youngest Weasley, wondering what she wanted with him. It was lunch and he was hungry, but she looked serious.

"I suppose I can sacrifice a minute or two for you, Miss Weasley."

Ginny smirked half-heartedly. "It'll take more than a minute or two. I wish this was about something happy. But it's not."

'_If it's something serious, and she's asking to talk to me alone, she must think the same thing I'm thinking. Maybe I'll get some answers about why Draco has been moping around like an angry puppy for the last week.'_

"Alright. Lead the way."

Ginny lead them all the way up to the room of requirement, walked three times in front of it while thinking of a place they could speak in private, and a door appeared. He held it open for her and they walked into a small cozy room with a fire in the fireplace and two comfortable sofa chairs that they sat in.

"I don't know what you know," Ginny started, "but I know that Malfoy is involved in Harry's depression."

Blaise nodded. "I figured as much. I know that you know about those two because Draco told me how you covered up for them in the hallway by the potions classroom. Nice job, by the way. And thank you. That was some quick thinking. Anyway, he's been moping around, too, snapping at anyone who bothers him and spending most of his time in our room with his bed curtains shut. He's downright miserable."

Ginny grew angry and leaned forward in her chair. "Why is HE upset? HE'S the one who broke Harry's heart!"

"Whoa, what? I didn't hear about that. I thought Potter broke Draco's heart."

"No! Harry wouldn't tell any of us why he's been so depressed but I thought it might be about Malfoy so I waited until I could get him alone to talk because I'm the only one of our friends who knows about them. I found him sitting by the fire in our common room last night after everyone else went to bed so I sat with him, and he told me what happened."

Blaise waited patiently for her to continue, and she told him roughly what Harry said about Draco's blowup – minus the part about Harry's tears. She wouldn't betray her best friend's trust just to make Zabini realize exactly how upset Harry really was.

"Wow. Draco is an idiot. I won't give any details, but I think you should know that even though it's no excuse, Draco is pretty emotionally unstable. He's been having a very rough term so far."

"So I've figured."

Blaise raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I know a few things but I won't divulge in case I know something you don't, no matter how sure I am that you do know. I don't know much, but I'm pretty perceptive. You learn a thing or two by watching people. Especially when you have to watch your back with six brothers waiting to pounce on you at any moment. Anyway, Harry is devastated. He won't eat, he doesn't sleep much, he hangs around us sometimes but doesn't talk to us – all he does now is homework. He's always in the library in a secluded corner and I can't get him to move. He's deteriorating, Zabini. I don't know what to do!" Ginny's tears fell. She hated that she was showing weakness in front of someone she didn't know well, especially a Slytherin, but she couldn't help it. "I'm sorry, I'm just so worried about him and so angry with Malfoy but Harry told me not to say anything to him or do anything rash…"

Blaise scooted closer to her and placed his hands on hers after she wiped away her tears. When a few more leaked out, he wiped them away with his sleeve. "Ginny, listen to me. First, you need to calm down, stop crying, and take deep breaths." She nodded and complied. "Second, my name is Blaise. If we're going to work together to help them, and since we're their best friends, we should be on a first name basis, right?" She nodded again, not trusting her voice to not crack. "Thirdly, I need to talk to Draco to find out what went wrong. There is something that happened recently to him that I can't tell you about, but you must know that it was gravely serious. It was last week, and too close to when they broke up to not have had something to do with this situation. I will talk to him, and then I will contact you and give you an update. Okay?"

She nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He smiled, and her worries and fears lifted. She could feel her heart getting lighter, and felt as if everything would eventually be okay.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a review! I hope you all enjoyed it!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Thank you so much for your reviews! They are sincerely appreciated!

* * *

><p>Theo had been updated on the whole suicide attempt fiasco a couple of days ago. The poor boy was so shocked when he learned that one of his two best friends had tried to kill himself that he nearly started crying. Draco merely said, "Oh don't go soft on me. I'm not dead, am I? So get over it," and promptly rolled over on his left side on his bed, showing his back to Theo and his feet to Blaise. Blaise had scolded him harshly for being so rude and uncaring towards Theo and his feelings. The night had ended when Theo said, "Please don't try that again, Draco…" in a scared tone, and Draco had responded with, "I won't."<p>

When Blaise went back to his room after dinner, he found Draco and Theo there. "Yo." He threw his bag on the floor and pounced onto his bed. Theo was primping in front of their mirror. "Where are _you_ going tonight?" Blaise asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I am meeting up with that sexy, _sexy_ man I told you about the other day." Theo grinned and brushed a hand through his dark brown hair. He was quite easy on the eyes. His features weren't sharp but they weren't round, either, he was muscular but thin, and his eyes were a striking electric blue. He was the fantasy of many a girl in Hogwarts, but he went the other way – and had no problems there.

Blaise snorted and rolled his eyes. "That Ravenclaw? You playboy, you."

"Hey. I can't help that I'm gorgeous."

Blaise threw a pillow at him but missed. Theo let out an indignant noise and glared at the darker boy with his hands on his hips. "I'll have you know that I have been primping for hours!"

"I don't doubt it," came Blaise's reply.

"*huff* Well then don't mess up all of my hard work with a pillow!"

Blaise snorted again. "There's this really cool thing called magic. You should learn how to use it." Theo stuck his tongue out, and Blaise waved at him as he walked towards the door. "Have fun, lover boy."

"Oh, I will." Theo grinned and walked out.

"What was that all about?" Blaise asked Draco.

"What?"

"You said nothing when usually, you'll jokingly pick on him with me."

"Oh well excuse me for not feeling like busting his happy little date."

"Draco, _you're _the one who broke up with Harry. Not the other way around. So don't take it out on other people who _are_ happy."

Draco shot up from his position. "How do you know about that?!"

"I overheard a few things."

"From who?"

"That's not important. What happened, Draco? You were so happy. Did you really break up with him?"

"I told him to leave me. He had the choice to come back."

"Oh stop it, you know he wouldn't and didn't think of it that way. The way you say things sometimes makes people think it's final. I hear he's been really upset, won't eat, is neglecting his friends, etc."

"Are you trying to make me feel guilty?" Draco asked incredulously. The truth was, he felt _incredibly_ guilty.

"No. I'm just saying what I thought, observed, and heard, and I want to know what happened because this was so sudden. I have to know, Draco – did your attempt have anything to do with this?"

"He's better off without me."

"That's not what I asked."

"Why do I need to tell you?"

"You don't. I just would like to know because I care about you and I want to help. Please open up to me. You know you can. You've done it before, many times."

"Hmph."

"Why do you think he's better off without you? Is this about your task? That you're scared of losing people?" Draco said nothing, but turned away from his friend. "Draco, you can't cut off the people who care about you just because you're scared."

"What would _you _know? You're not the one who has to kill Dumbledore. You're not the one who's life is screwed."

"Maybe not, but I know when my friend is being an idiot. You should make up with him. At least tell him why you broke up with him. He deserves that much."

"Bah. He's too hurt to take me back. Like I want to go back to him, anyway. And like I said, he's better off without me, and I'm better off without him."

"Really?" Blaise drawled in an unbelieving tone. Just then, a paper airplane flew under their door and over to Blaise's bed. He opened it and read. "It's from Pansy. She wants my help with something."

"So go, then!"

Blaise put down the parchment and stared at Draco with a disappointed expression. "Don't you realize you're just hurting yourself? Draco, what if this thing with Potter could turn out to be the best thing that has ever happened to you? What if you end up with a family like you've always wanted? No, I'm not being mushy, stop it! I'm being _very_ serious so shut up and LISTEN to me!" Draco, who had opened his mouth to say something, shut it and looked affronted. "This might not be anything at all – just a fling, perhaps – but it COULD be the rest of your life. It COULD be what saves you. Are you really willing to give that up just because of your own fears and insecurities? Let that sink in a little. I'm going to meet Pansy."

With that, Blaise left. Once again, Draco grew angry with Blaise's stupid wisdom, but it was already working. He was already rolling Blaise's words around in his head.

* * *

><p>The Next Day<p>

"You called?"

"Indeed. It was done. I didn't find much out – only that he did it because of his insecurities. But I did get my say in the matter. Hopefully, it'll make him re-think his decision. He usually listens to me. How is Potter?"

Ginny's eyes were downcast. "Not good."

"Chin up. Maybe this will work itself out. We can only do everything we can that's in our power, but the most we can do is try to cheer them up and get them to talk to each other. We shouldn't intervene too much because if they are meant to be, they'll come together on their own. There's no need for us to prolong if they'll just end up like that, again."

Ginny nodded. "I know. I just truly feel that even though love isn't in the picture yet, they're perfect for each other. They complement each other very well, and I can't speak for Malfoy but I know he helps Harry. Harry has never been happier. Well, before the fight."

Blaise smiled. "I'm glad you can see that. Most people wouldn't."

"Such as my brother."

"Among quite a lot of others."

"He'll come around. And if he doesn't, he'll have me to deal with." Ginny's eyes obtained a glint that Blaise hoped would never be directed at him.

"You know, most Slytherins can't get that look no matter how hard they try."

"Why thank you." She smirked, and he jokingly shuddered.

"Scary…"

She laughed. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

"Together?" he asked, a little surprised.

"Why not?"

"Well there is that one little problem of you being a Gryffindor and me being a Slytherin."

Ginny raised an eyebrow. "And that's going to stop us?"

"I guess not," he replied, chuckling.

"Come on." She linked her arm through his and led him to the Great Hall. "No one ever got what they wanted without doing something about it. The houses don't really sit with each other because they're either too scared or too conditioned about where to sit. We're friends. I am allowed to sit with my friends, am I not?"

"I'm not gonna stop you," he said, smirking at the girl's eccentricity. It was so much like his own; he could easily become close with her. Talking to her was like breathing. It was so natural, and it warmed his heart that a Gryffindor could pass through the house line and befriend a Slytherin. "So, who's sitting where?"

"I'll sit with you. It's more understandable. Slytherins don't move for anyone."

He snorted. "Darn right we don't."

She smirked. "You will."

"Will I?"

"Oh yes. But for now, I won't make you."

"And you think you _can_ make me?"

"You bet I can."

"Ah! There it is. The famous Gryffindor cockiness. I knew you had it in you; you hide it well."

"Oh, do I?" she asked innocently. They reached the doors of the Great Hall and she glanced at him. "Here we go!"

They walked in together and both sat down at the Slytherin table. Ginny laughed when she saw Ron choke and spit out his pumpkin juice while Hermione was trying to wrestle him back in his seat without Harry's help. The Great Hall did not become quiet, but the conversations changed. Dumbledore, who was sitting in his normal chair at the staff table, had a bright twinkle in his eyes as he sipped his tea.

* * *

><p>"What is she doing?! Why is she fraternizing with the enemy?! I'm gonna kill her! I'm gonna go over there and take her back! She's coming back here where she belongs!"<p>

"Ronald Weasley you will do no such thing!" Hermione said. "Sit DOWN!"

At the look Hermione gave him, he sat, but was still fuming and ranting. "Why are you defending her?!"

"I'm not defending her nor am I taking sides! LISTEN to me and stop acting like a four year old. I don't know why she's sitting with them but there is obviously a good reason and we will _hear her out_ later, not scream our heads off at her. You don't even know the reason, you just want to chew her head off! For Merlin's sake, shut up and eat."

Ron grumbled, telling Ginny how lucky she was that Hermione was there, even though his sister couldn't hear him.

* * *

><p>When Blaise and Ginny sat down next to Pansy across the table from Draco and Theo, Draco raised his eyebrows. <em>'Shit, what is she doing here?'<em> He was worried that she would say something, but she acted as if she didn't know about what happened between him and Harry. Then he thought he was foolish to think that. Of course she knew. She was Potter's best friend. So why wasn't she saying anything?

"So what honor has been bestowed upon us for you to grace us with your lovely presence, Miss Weasley?" Theo asked gallantly. Ginny giggled and gave him a bright smile. She had not known that Theo knew about her and Blaise's growing friendship, but she was not surprised at the gay man's friendliness. He was known for it throughout Hogwarts.

"Well, Mr. Nott, I do believe that Blaise and Draco need a Gryffindor in their lives to keep them in line."

Blaise snickered while Draco looked affronted, but was still too cautious to say anything to her. Ah. There it was. The glare. The look in her eyes that told him she knew he was the cause of Harry's pain, and that she was NOT okay with what he did. His heart grew heavy and pained. It hurt. She had every right to be angry with him.

"You have a very valid point there," Theo said, laughing.

Pansy snorted when Draco made a sour face. "Draco dearest, you know it's true."

'_Yeah, well I _had_ a Gryffindor in my life and look at how well that went, even though it was my own fault…'_

Blaise saw the depressed look in Draco's eyes and could tell his friend was hurting, so he changed the subject. "So how did your date go?" he asked Theo. The brunette grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. "Alright, that's enough information for me." The group laughed and Pansy turned to Ginny.

"So what really made you sit with us?"

Pansy seemed friendly enough, so Ginny answered her honestly. "Blaise and I have been becoming quite friendly quite rapidly and since I like eating with my friends and meeting new people, I decided to sit with him."

"But what about your Gryffindor friends?" she asked. She was trying to see if Ginny was worthy of being their friend, if she was a true, good person.

"If they can't accept that I have friends in other houses, then they shouldn't be my friends in the first place."

Pansy and the others looked impressed. That was exactly what she was looking for. Ginny took a good look at the older girl for the first time. Pansy had dark hair that was cut above her shoulders, big brown eyes, a slender body, and an elegant face. She grew out of the awkward "pug" stage, as Hermione put it, a while ago. In fact, Ginny never liked that Hermione was capable of being that mean, though she never said anything about it.

They chatted and ate together, and Blaise and Draco noticed that Ginny Weasley got along very well with them all, just as Draco had predicted.

* * *

><p>Later that night when Ginny came back up to the Gryffindor common room, the trio was waiting for her. Harry was sitting by the fire, staring into it as he so often did since Draco broke up with him.<p>

"Hey, guys."

"Hey guys? That's all you have to say?" Ron asked furiously. Hermione gave him a scathing look.

"Um, yeah. Why?"

"YOU KNOW WHY!" Ron jumped up from his seat.

"Ron, stop –"

"Stop, Hermione. I know what this is about," Ginny said. "It's because I sat with Blaise today at dinner, isn't it?"

"Oh GREAT GUESS! What the FUCK were you doing over there?!"

"Ron, stop it –"

"Sitting with my friend Blaise. Since when was it wrong to eat with your friends?"

"IT'S WRONG TO SIT WITH A SLYTHERIN!"

"NO IT'S NOT! Just because most death eaters and Voldemort came from Slytherin does NOT mean that every single person in Slytherin is bad! If you gave them a chance, you'd see how great they really are!"

"THEY'RE ALL DEATH EATERS!"

"RONALD!" Hermione shouted. "You don't KNOW that! Just because they're in Slytherin doesn't make them all death eaters!"

"Shut UP, Hermione!"

She reeled back as if she was slapped, then narrowed her eyes at him. "You're out of line. You don't know every Slytherin and you don't know what goes on in their lives or who they are. Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott have never been rude to us. And Ginny can be friends with whoever she wants! You can't control that! And what about Pettigrew? He was from GRYFFINDOR!"

"I AM NOT OUT OF LINE!" Ron roared, and conveniently ignored the part about Pettigrew. "MY SISTER IS HANGING OUT WITH A SLYTHERIN! That's all that matters! They all turn evil at some point!" He turned back to Ginny. "Are you fucking him? That's all they're good for and it's all they want! Not friendship! You're STUPID if you think that!"

"You son of a bitch." Ginny's eyes filled with a fiery anger. "How dare you! I'm your SISTER! You're supposed to support me and LOVE me! But calling me a _whore?!_ Family doesn't do that, Ron! A brother doesn't do that!You're the stupid one, here. NOT me. Besides Lily Evans, Theo Nott and I are the only known people in a very long time to have breached the wall between Slytherin and Gryffindor, and at least I'm fucking brave enough! You're just a fucking _coward_ who refuses to let go of a stupid hatred that has no grounds to back it! FUCK you!"

Ron looked shocked for a moment but when he snapped out of it, he went to hit her in his rage, as he wasn't thinking clearly. But he was not as shocked as he was when Harry grabbed his arm in a vice-like grip and Hermione jumped in front of Ginny.

He turned to Harry, confused and betrayed. "You side with _her_?!"

"If you _ever_ go to hit her again, I will beat the shit out of you so badly you won't be able to move for a month, and you will be kicked off the team." Harry's voice was deadly and so filled with venom that Ron actually leaned back and away from him.

"She's MY sister, Harry! NOT YOURS! You seem to forget that!"

"She's just as much mine as she is yours. Blood means nothing to me. You're not yourself, Ron. You need to leave before you say more things you'll regret. Now."

Hermione glared at Ron as he looked at them both, then at his sister, and then stormed away from them up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

Ginny's eyes filled with tears. "Harry, I'm so sorry. I didn't think that I would jeopardize your friendship with Ron. I just wanted to sit with my friend –"

"Stop, Ginny. He needs to learn how to calm down and think before he talks." He sat back down as Hermione and Ginny sat on either side of him.

"He's not Slytherin enough to have that ability," Hermione said. Ginny gave her a half-hearted smile. "So, I didn't know you and Zabini were getting close."

"Eh it's a recent thing. It kind of just happened. We started talking one day and realized that we'd be great friends."

"Hm, well I think it's nice. I'm going up; I'm tired and I have a lot of work to do tomorrow. Good night."

"Night," Harry and Ginny said. Hermione gave a sad look to Harry and went upstairs.

"Why did you sit with them, Gin?"

Harry's voice was so soft, she wouldn't have heard it if she wasn't paying attention.

"Because I wanted to hang out with Blaise."

"But _he_ was there. I thought you hated him for what he did to me."

"Oh… oh, Harry… look, I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't even think about him being there. I just wanted to sit with Blaise because we were in the middle of a conversation when we went to lunch. I'm sorry. You know I want to rip his guts out for hurting you, and I gave him a nice death glare just for you. Then again, you _did _tell me not to be angry with him for what he did. What you told me about what he does to himself sat in my mind and I thought about it for a while. I feel sorry for him. He looks really awful, Harry. I don't think he actually wanted to break up with you. You were right. There is something really serious going on that we don't know about. I think you should go to him and try to patch things up, figure out what he's hiding. He needs help. He was showing the signs of severe depression, though I wouldn't have seen them if I didn't know what to look for, and knew about his cutting. You don't have to, but just think about it, alright?"

Harry nodded. "Thanks, Ginny."

"For what, love?"

"Just for being you. I'm sorry I got jealous. I couldn't help it."

"I know. Thank you for stopping Ron and standing up for me."

"Anytime, you know that."

Ginny kissed his forehead. "Goodnight, Harry. Sleep, please?"

He nodded, but she didn't believe him. She hesitantly walked to the stairs but turned to Harry before she climbed them. "Oh, and I think it's now safe to say Hermione won't judge you if you tell her about everything. Goodnight." She went to her room, worrying until she fell asleep about the boy who wormed his way into her heart as a seventh brother and best friend.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**If you like my story, you should check out IceQueenRia's story, Bleeding Dragon. It's AWESOME!**

**Thank you SO MUCH for your reviews!**

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><p>But Harry did not go to sleep. When he finally went upstairs, he took out his map and lay in bed, staring at it. He had taken to searching for Draco, no matter how much he didn't want to, and he noticed that Draco's dot still vanished sometimes. He had not stopped trying to figure out why, but he didn't have enough energy to follow him anymore. However, tonight, he did find Draco. What Harry couldn't understand was why the blonde was in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom this late at night. He noticed that the dot was not in a stall. It was by the sinks that led to the Chamber of Secrets, and it wasn't moving.<p>

Harry waited. Ten minutes went by. Then twenty. The dot was still there. Harry wasn't a cruel person, and he knew that there was a reason Draco was in a bathroom at this time of night instead of his own room. Harry got out of bed as quietly as he could, threw his invisibility cloak on, and left Gryffindor. Something was wrong, and even though Draco made it clear that he didn't want Harry around, that they had broken up – Harry couldn't just leave him, especially knowing what Draco was most likely doing to himself in that bathroom.

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><p>Draco let his right arm fall to his lap, his fingers still clutching the knife. His left arm was littered with scabs and scars, but what he had done tonight were four cuts that went deeper than usual, though not like the one that marked the night he tried to kill himself. These new ones spanned between the middle of his arm to his elbow. Two of them cut through the initiate dark mark. The other two were below it. In fact, many of his cuts went through his mark, as if to deform it so much that it didn't work anymore. Of course he knew that was impossible. But it didn't matter. It still made him feel better – for a short time. Then, when the feelings of despair and hopelessness came back, he would make another few cuts. However, only making a few was unusual. Usually, he couldn't stop at just a few. He had to make ten or fifteen little cuts until he felt satisfied and sated. He knew it was barbaric – at least that's what he thought – but he couldn't help it. It had become an addiction, and it was the only thing that helped with his pain.<p>

He leaned his back against the cold tile of the bathroom wall and sighed. Whenever he cut, his emotions went into overdrive. He felt despair, anger, depression, relief, and happiness all at once. The blood on his arm began to spill over the sides and onto his jeans.

"_Scourgify_."

The blood was cleaned away but it didn't stop welling up. He cast a few more cleaning spells until the blood slowed enough, and pulled down his sleeve. He was done for the night. Exhausted. Cutting did that to him; it exhausted his emotions to the point where he almost couldn't feel anymore. He couldn't cut anymore. He was so worn out that he barely heard the door open, or the swear word muttered by the figure now running towards him. He couldn't see who it was, either; he was behind the sinks. He was sitting with his back to the wall, his left leg straightened out in front of him and his right one slightly bent, his arms loosely at his sides, and his head bowed so that his hair fell in front of his eyes.

Harry rushed over to him, dropping his cloak on one of the sinks. Draco gave a start when he noticed Harry. Harry knelt beside Draco and took him into his arms after casting _muffliato_ in case anyone patrolled the hallway outside. He was plenty surprised when the blonde leaned into him instead of pulling away, but the short happy feeling was stolen from him as soon as he saw the small amount of blood seeping through Draco's white sleeve. Harry's heart gave a lurch.

"Oh Draco…"

"I'm sorry," Draco choked out.

"It's okay."

"No. I yelled at you, and… told you to…"

"It's okay, Draco," Harry said a little more forcefully but still gently.

"I'm sorry. Please don't leave me."

"I'm not going to leave you. I promise."

"Promise?"

"Yeah."

Even though it was only two times that he saw Draco cry, it broke his heart. He always thought of him as a very strong person, but the fact that Draco let Harry see this side of him made Harry love him more. It proved that Draco was human. Wait… what? '_Love?'_ Harry was thunderstruck. He hadn't thought about that. Love… Draco? And yet, when he looked down at the blonde head resting against his shoulder, he felt himself fill with it, along with an enormously fierce feeling of protection that was somehow different from what he felt for Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. He realized that he really _did_ love Draco, even though it has only been about a month and a half since they began their relationship.

Harry gently untangled himself and took Draco's left hand in his. As he started to pull the sleeve up, Draco seemed to spring back to life. He jerked his arm away from Harry and glared at him. "What are you doing?" he hissed. "Trying to see if I have a dark mark, are you?"

"No, I –"

"I see you look at my arm when you think I'm looking the other way. What's wrong, Potter? Are you scared that I might be a death eater? Is that what you think of me? Have you always wondered if I had the mark on my arm? Well what if I do? Could you deal with that?" He knew he was back to being defensive again, after he pleaded with Harry to never leave him, but he couldn't help it. The wall had been triggered and it took an enormous effort to bring it down.

"No. I wasn't looking for it." Draco looked mildly confused. "I wanted to see your cuts."

Draco's eyes widened in shock. "_What?_" The blonde kept his arm completely still, as if he thought it would make Harry think nothing was wrong. How the HELL did Harry know? "I do not… what the hell is wrong with you?"

Harry looked rejected and it put a stab through Draco's chest. "Why are you not being honest with me? Especially since there is clearly blood on your sleeve and a pocket knife in your hand. I know you're a private person, but it's _me_… I've known the whole time and I've never bothered you about it. Ever since I visited you in the hospital wing after I… after I hurt you."

This knowledge seemed to deflate Draco. "I knew it…"

"Huh?"

"I told Blaise I thought you saw them. I pulled my sleeve down when I noticed you were there… but you never said anything so I dropped it, assuming you didn't see them. Why have you never said anything?"

"I was waiting for you to open up to me about it. Then I saw you on the map I have… tonight… and I got worried. Even though you told me to stay away… I had to see if you were alright."

Draco took his sleeve and pulled it up. Harry winced at all of the cuts and scars on the white skin, especially at the new ones. Draco pulled his sleeve up around his elbow and Harry gasped when he saw the mark. Draco made up his mind, then. Harry's reaction saw to that. However, Draco took Harry's reaction the wrong way.

"Ugly, isn't it? I bet you hate me, now. Well? I DO have the mark, even if it is only an initiate one. I'm the one who made Madam Rosmerta curse Katie Bell. I'm the one who sent Dumbledore the necklace that Katie Bell was stupid enough to touch. I'm the one who accidentally poisoned Weasley because Slughorn was an idiot and didn't give it to Dumbledore. _I'm the one who has to kill Dumbledore._ Don't you get it? I have a mission. If I don't succeed, Voldemort will have someone rape my mother, kill her and my father, make me watch, and then kill me. As much as I want it, WE cannot BE."

Harry's eyes widened in horror. "Draco… please… you're taking it the wrong way..."

"NO. Stop it. I don't love you, Potter!"

While Harry's heart may have been torn in half, his determination and compassion never would. He knew that Draco wasn't the type of person who would be able to go through with this mission. "I… well maybe you don't, but I DO! Even though we haven't been together long, and damnit, I'm not going to just let you go over to HIS side. I'm NOT going to let him have you, control you, take your life away. Even if you don't love me, even if we never work out, I can't go through my life watching you suffer so don't think for a minute that I'm going to let you go through with your mission, and I won't let you or your parents die!"

For a moment, neither one of them said anything. Draco was too shocked to. He had _not_ expected a declaration of love from Harry. He expected him to get upset and storm out. But he didn't. And therefore, his reaction was unplanned as well. "I… I DO! I do, Harry, but I _can't!_"

Before they could comprehend what was happening, they were kissing. You could say that Harry pulled Draco towards him, but it really doesn't matter. Draco clutched him like a lifeline.

After they pulled apart, Harry let his forehead rest on Draco's. "Is that why you never let me remove your shirt? Your cuts? Or your mark?"

"Both."

"Come with me." Harry stood and Draco looked at him, confused.

"Where?"

"Dumbledore."

"WHAT?! Are you out of your MIND?! Why would I go to him? I'm trying to _kill_ him!"

"You need to tell him about your mission. He can help you, Draco."

"No!" Draco was panicking. "No! I can't! I won't! I…"

"Please." Harry's voice made Draco take a moment to hesitate and think. "He can help you. I can help you. The Order can help you. It's your way out of this." Harry sat back down and pulled Draco into his arms again. He rested his cheek on Draco's head and gently squeezed him. "There _is _a way out. Please, Draco. I won't let you go to Voldemort. Please let us help you. Please trust me. Snape is in the Order. Doesn't he know about all of this?"

"… He does…"

"Can't he help you, too, then?"

"He could…"

"You should probably talk to him about it."

Draco nodded. Then… "Harry…"

"Yes?"

"I need to… tell you something." Draco's heart was hammering in his chest. His head was swimming from anxiety and fear.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"I…" Draco's heart was nearly leaping from his body, now. He felt like he couldn't do it, but he had to. "You deserve an explanation… of why I pushed you away." Harry swallowed. "I…" His breath was getting caught in his throat. "I tried to… I almost…"

"Draco, what is it? You're scaring me," Harry said with a shaky voice. He squeezed Draco's hand a little more to reassure him, but the blonde sat up to look at Harry.

"I almost… uh… FUCK. I can't say it."

"Then show me, if you can."

Draco thought about that. _'I can do that…'_ He pulled up his sleeve again and showed Harry the deep cut on his wrist that was still a little scabbed. It was much worse than the others Harry saw a few minutes ago; he must have glanced over it. He suddenly understood what Draco was trying to tell him. He looked up at his lover's grey eyes with widened ones of his own and began to hyperventilate.

"No!"

"Harry…"

"ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I COULD HAVE LOST YOU AND I NEVER WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHY?!"

Draco winced. He didn't expect this – he never expects the reactions he gets from Harry. "I'm… I'm sorry…"

"THIS is why you broke it off with me?!" Tears spilled down his cheeks. "DRACO HOW COULD YOU?!"

Draco took him into a tight hug when he heard Harry's voice crack. He breathed in Harry's scent – the scent he smelled when they made Amortentia in potions just a few weeks before. "I'm sorry. I was in over my head. I was really stressed, I didn't know you loved me, and I thought that it would be easier to just die instead of watch my loved ones be killed by _him_. It was incredibly selfish, I know that. Blaise made that very clear. As did Snape. They were the ones who saved my life. I didn't want to keep this from you. I'm sorry. Maybe I should have."

Harry was shaking, now, and every few seconds, Draco heard and felt a deep breath escape from him. He hated that he made Harry feel this way, but he had to tell him.

Harry took a deep breath. "No. I'm glad you told me. No secrets, okay? No more secrets."

"No. No more secrets."

They held each other for what seemed like an hour, though it was only about twenty minutes. Then Draco agreed to see Dumbledore.

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><p>"Come in," came a voice on the other side of the large door. Draco and Harry opened it and stepped inside, meeting a very surprised Dumbledore.<p>

"Good evening, boys. What can I do for you this fine evening?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you so late, Professor," Harry said, "but we wouldn't have come if it wasn't so urgent."

"Of course. I thought as much. Sit, sit. Would you like tea? I just made some. It's decaf, I'm afraid; I can't take black tea at this time of night anymore. I'm getting too old." He seemed happy with himself and levitated the tea tray over to the table in front of his desk when Harry and Draco nodded their heads. When he sat at his desk, he placed his hands on top of it and clasped them. "Now. What can I do for you?" he asked again.

To say Dumbledore was a little surprised when Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter came through his door together was one thing. To say he was beyond shocked when Harry placed a comforting hand on Draco's shoulder would be an understatement.

Draco took a deep breath. "I… have to tell you something important… regarding a mission I was given"

"Ah, the mission. Yes, I heard about that."

Draco's eyes bugged. "You know?"

"Not what it is, no. But I do know that you were given one by Voldemort himself. To gain back your father's honor and keep both yourself and your parents alive, I presume?" Draco nodded. "I see. I admire that you are coming to me about this. I had hoped you would."

Draco looked at his lap. "I'm sorry it took me so long."

"Don't be, my boy. Don't be."

"Draco?" Harry asked. Draco nodded, not looking at Harry.

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at Harry's use of Draco's first name, and put all of the signs together but decided not to say anything about it, as interesting as it was. "What is your mission, Mr. Malfoy?"

"… Murder."

Dumbledore looked grave. "Who is it that you have to murder?" he said in a voice that told them he already knew the answer.

"You." Draco said this last bit very quietly while looking at his knees, but Dumbledore heard it.

He leaned back in his chair, hands still clasped, and had a worried expression on his old face. "Yes, I thought it might be something like that but I must admit, I feel very safe."

Draco and Harry looked up at him, confusion written all over their faces.

"Sir?" Draco asked.

"Well your attempts seemed quite like you did not have your heart in them at all. I knew someone was trying to do me in but it was obvious that they were not trying hard enough. I am glad you told me, Draco. That is a very admirable thing to do. I assume it was Harry who suggested it?"

"He and Blaise Zabini, sir. And Snape."

"Perhaps they put the idea in your head, but you acted on your own accord. One hundred points to Slytherin for bravery, I suppose, but fifteen taken away… well I must punish you somehow for your earlier half-hearted efforts, I suppose… and fifty to each Harry and Mr. Zabini."

"Thank you, sir," the two shocked boys both said.

"Now. What to do about this mess. Will you join the Order?"

"You want me to join? After everything I've done?" Draco asked, astonished. Harry gave him an 'I-told-you-so' look.

"None of those things held your true intentions, did they? I will speak to the Order about what you have told me, and I will speak to Severus alone. Is he opposed to you telling me this?"

"No, sir. Well, he wasn't when Blaise mentioned it in front of him last week."

"Very good. Are you willing to make an unbreakable vow to not go back on your word or tell Voldemort what the Order talks about?"

"Yes, sir," Draco said more forcefully. He seemed better already, Harry thought.

"Quite good. Come here, Draco. You too, Harry."

"Sir?"

"I believe it is time for you to join. You may not be seventeen yet but that matters not in the times we are in."

"Thank you, sir."

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><p>That night, Harry slept in Draco's bed. The blonde had not wanted to be alone, and truthfully, neither did Harry. He woke up the next morning feeling happier, more energized, and more awake than he had felt since Draco broke up with him.<p>

Harry got up to put his clothes on and go to class when Draco woke. "'Arry?"

"Hm?" Harry paused to turn and look at Draco. All they had done last night was sleep in each other's arms, but they stripped down to their boxers nonetheless. It did get hot under those comforters. The curtains were drawn around the bed and a sound spell had been cast so that Blaise and Theo wouldn't know Harry was there.

"Don't leave…" Draco said sleepily.

"I have to go to class," Harry whispered. "And so do you."

"Urgh... I know…"

Harry crawled back towards Draco and draped his body over his. "I'm not leaving, Draco. Not now, not ever. Not even if you tell me to. Alright?" Draco gave him a sleepy smile and nodded. "However, if we don't get out of bed, we won't get breakfast." _'Also, we'll never get out of here if I don't move away from you right now,'_ he thought; they both had morning wood and they both knew it. But before he could move, he felt Draco's hands on his hips pulling him down and he couldn't pull himself away if he tried.

Draco leaned up for a passionate kiss as he ground his hips against Harry's, earning a deep groan from him. They had never been together with most of their clothes off before, so neither was willing to ruin the moment. Draco's need for dominance won out, and he flipped them over so he was on top. "You're sure no one can hear us?" Harry asked. His answer came in the form of neck biting and hip grinding, and he couldn't stop the moan that escaped. "We're gonna miss breakfast."

"Do you care?"

"No," Harry said breathlessly as Draco's erection slowly rubbed against his.

"Good," came the blonde's hungry response. They feverishly gripped each other, Draco's arms around Harry's back and Harry's around Draco's hips. They moved quicker and more forceful by the second until they both came. They held each other until their breath came back and Draco moved off of Harry.

"I'll get dressed and leave first and I'll meet up with you later," Harry said. "_Scourgify_."

Draco nodded. "Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"I…."

Harry's heart swelled and a brilliant smile crossed his face. "Me too."

"How do you know what I was going to say?"

"Because it was written on your face, and I know you don't feel comfortable with saying things like that."

Draco grinned and threw the covers back over his head – but to no avail. Harry grabbed them and pulled.

"Hey!"

The brunette snorted and, after sticking his head out of the curtains to see if the coast was clear, he exited before putting his invisibility cloak on. However, as he was in the process of doing this, Blaise suddenly emerged from the curtains around his own bed, stopped in his tracks, grinned, winked at Harry, and proceeded to the bathroom. Harry's jaw dropped and he stuck his head back into Draco's curtains.

"Zabini knows about us?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry. Forgot to tell you."

"Oh…"

And with that, Harry put on his cloak and left Slytherin.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed that! They're finally back together…and in love. :D Draco's an idiot, I know. But love isn't easy and they never would have realized it if something like that didn't happen. Thanks for reading!<strong>


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